Joanna Angel's bad ass G-bullet - vibrator by Topco Sales - review by Carrie Ann

The Joanna Angel's Bad Ass G-Bullet is a rockin' little powerhouse just loaded with options!

The black and white, hard plastic bullet measures in at around four inches, with three of those inches being insertable. It has a slim, one inch diameter and an extremely nifty crackled texture they call "fractured black" that looks exactly how it sounds; like fractured, crackled paint. The texture is easily felt in your hand as being not smooth but not exactly highly textured or ridged, either. Inserted or held against other areas of skin, however, it is barely noticeable. It feels a bit less slick than a non-textured plastic toy but more slick than a velvet cote one.

The bullet has a slightly pointed, hooked end intended to stimulate the g-spot - though if you need thrusting to bring yourself to orgasm via g-spot stimulation, you may not be able to thrust this well due to it's short length.

The cord is 30 inches long and has little rubber-like o-rings at the attachment points on both the bullet and the controller which prevent the cord from being pushed inside of either piece. (I've had problems with this with past bullets) It's definitely long enough to hold the controller in one hand near the top of your body where you can see what you're doing while using the bullet. A definite plus!

The controller is also textured in the fractured black with handy rows of ridges to, presumably, help you keep a grip on it with lubed up fingers. It takes two AA batteries and the battery cover screws off for easy insertion of them. The controls themselves are push button with a light up panel so you know what level you're at. One button is a dedicated on/off button and, obviously, turns the toy on and off. Very handy if you need to turn it off in a hurry as you don't have to scroll through the vibration options. The second button sets your vibration at one of the seven available levels/patterns.

The best thing about this bullet is, indeed, its vibrations and patterns. Rather than going from low vibration to highest vibration and then into patters, it starts out - with a single push of the button - on a high, steady vibration. With the second press it begins a rapid pulsation pattern. Third press gives you rapid pulsations mixed with steady vibration while the fourth press starts an escalating pulsation pattern. The fifth press of the button starts you out with fast, steady vibration and moves along to a medium to slowish steady vibration and repeats. The sixth press gives another escalation pattern that is medium in vibration but quickly escalating. The seventh press starts with a medium strength pulsation then transfers to a high, steady vibration and back again. Very different than most pattern type vibrations in that every single one of them is enjoyable and strong enough to get the job done.

The Bad Ass G-Bullet is fairly quiet for a hard plastic toy. It can be heard under covers but probably not through a closed door, especially if you have other noise (tv, radio, fan) in the background.

Because it's hard plastic, it's phthalates-free and can be used with the lube of your choice; water based, silicone or oil. Clean up is easy with soap and water, toy cleaner, wipes, an alcohol rub down or even a ten percent bleach solution. Plastic is not considered sterilizable, however, so cover it with a condom if you're going to share.

The package notes that this toy is waterproof, though I haven't tried it in the bath or shower because I'm leery of taking any corded toy into a substantial amount of water. I have washed it under running water, however, and have had no issues with water getting in the battery compartment due to a snug o-ring seal.

Care should be taken when using corded toys as the cord can become kinked and ruin the toy. Store without wrapping the cord tightly and use care that it doesn't become overly bent or kinked.

I would also not recommend this for anal use as the power cord is not suitable for retrieval and it has no flared base.

So I got the Bad Ass G-bullet as a descriptive review product and I tried to keep my review pretty objective. I've now had it for a few weeks and I'm realizing the objective review just doesn't do it justice. This toy SERIOUSLY FUCKING ROCKS!.

It's not the shape of the bullet or its intensity. It's got a fairly standard g-spot tip, and standard-for-a-bullet vibration intensity. It's not even the fractured texture, which is pretty nifty, but it is the patterns of vibration. The escalations and rollercoasters; they are amazing. Unbelievable! Fucking insanely awesome!

I do have a few other toys that pulse, escalate and whatnot. I like the feature, it's fun. But normally the patterns are sort of monotonous, and they don't last long enough. This thing? This thing has patterns that actually work with my body, work with the way I masturbate, and work with my own natural rhythm. It makes me whimper and moan, and I am normally a very very quiet masturbator. Every single one of them (and there are six of them, plus straight vibration), is useful and feels good.

I want to gush on and on and on about the G-bullet. It's THAT good. I grab for it constantly. During sex it is the best vibe I've ever felt. Solo it is the best clit vibe I've ever used. It is better than the Nea, and I looooooooooove my Nea.

I really hope these vibrational patterns become the trend; the longer patterns, the way they build, the almost intuitively perfect rhythm of them. More and more and more and more and more toys need to have these same patterns. I would, however, probably jerk off until my clit fell off if they did.

p.s. The two AA batteries this runs on lasted me about an hour using all the patterns.