Excellent Full-Body Massager/Migraine Eraser

The Ultimate Massager is worth its small price point. The ten different functions, portability, cuteness factor, and ease of travel make this the perfect vibrator for a beginner, or someone who wants something new and different.
Published:
Pros
Attractive, gives intense orgasms, multiple speeds.
Cons
The caps that come with it are useless and painful.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review

Use

The Ultimate Massager-Pocket Rocket is an adorably sweet and discreet vibrator with ten different settings. This massager is not only great for clitoral stimulation; it doubles as an effective full-body massager thanks to the three ball metal tip that is smooth and soothing when brushed or pressed against the skin. Because of the variety of settings, keeping the Ultimate Massager on the lowest speed is great for headaches if it is pressed against the forehead and massaged all the way across the head.

This vibe is great for use alone or with a partner. Because it is waterproof, it can be taken into the shower for some extra fun. The shape at the tip is circular, and about the size of a quarter, then it widens down the shaft. The shape is not ideal for vaginal insertion, but good for outside the body stimulation.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • On a bed only
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • Clitoris
    • Nipples

Material / Texture

The Ultimate Massager is made of plastic and has a smooth, velvety texture that is pleasing to the touch. The bottom half of the massager is a harder, white plastic that is also smooth. On a whole, it is rigid and not flexible. The material is phthalates free, hypoallergenic, latex free, and made with food grade materials.

While the materials of the vibrator itself are enjoyable to feel, the four plastic caps it comes with are not. Three of the four caps have textured tops that are very hard and not enjoyable at all. In fact, I tested one of them out on my arm first, and the spikes left scratchy red marks all over my skin. That is not what I want to feel down below, or anywhere else on my body! The only cap that isn't hard is the round cap, but it doesn't add or take away from the sensations of this vibrator.

Because of how silky the vibrator is, it's non-stick and it is very easy to clean, as it does not attract dust or debris like some velvety textured vibrators do. A little soap and water clean the vibrator nicely.

When removing the vibrator from the plastic container, there is no odor.
    • No odor
    • Not porous at all
    • Rigid

Design / Shape / Size

The Ultimate Massager is totally adorable in style and shape. One half is pink, and one half is white, which is perfect for those wanting a girlie-girl styled vibrator. I like my sex toys to be "non-threatening" visually and have aesthetic appeal, and this cutie pie vibe does the trick. It is a great vibrator for beginners and advanced users who want to be more experimental.

The top half is velvety and pink, while the bottom is a harder plastic that is white with hearts carved into it. It is a firm vibrator that is an inch in diameter, 5 inches long, and 3.25 inches in circumference. Because of its small size, it is extremely easy to travel with and very discreet. In fact, because of the shape, if it accidentally ended up in the wrong hands it would be very easy to claim as a back massager.
    • Beginner
    • Discreet look/design
    • Whimsical / artistic

Functions / Performance / Controls

The Ultimate Massager is quiet and easy to use with ten separate functions and speeds.

Function 1: A low, rumbling, slow speed.
Function 2: A medium paced speed.
Function 3: The fastest speed, but not too intense.
Function 4: Steady pulsations in a fast "1-2-3-4" pattern.
Function 5: A long "onnnnnnne-two" rhythm. The "two" has a short burst while the "one" is long.
Function 6: A long "onnnnnnne-two-three" rhythm. Here, "two" and "three" are short while "one" is still long.
Function 7: This is the roller coaster function with five counts, each one building intensity, with five being the strongest.
Function 8: This function starts out slow vibration, builds in intensity to two short bursts, then repeats the pattern again with three short bursts on the next round. After that it starts over. This is fun for something a unexpected and different.
Function 9: This is another roller coaster function, starting with a slow vibration, building in intensity, and reaching the top with three short bursts. After that it vibrates on an intense setting and then slows down to a weaker vibration and the pattern begins again.
Function 10: This function begins with four bursts that lead into a weak vibration that gets stronger, and repeats itself like the others.

All vibrations are located in the pink end of the vibrator. I've had this vibrator a month and the batteries are still going strong.

The control pad is at the bottom of the shaft on the white side. There's a rounded pink triangle with a "10" on it, a raised button, and then the word "Functions" in white letters. This is where the vibrator is controlled. Simply press the button to get to the next function. To turn the vibrator on, simply twist it in the middle where the pink and white colors divide.

This vibrator is not very loud and it's very easy to use. It is fine for use in the shower, but I've never submerged it completely in water to test out the waterproof function.
    • Easy to use
    • Long lasting power
    • Multiple settings

Care and Maintenance

I store this toy in a drawer and it doesn't get dusty or full of lint from clothing. It is easy to clean with light soap and water. I have not used this with lubricants, but based on my uses of the Ultimate Massager, I haven't needed any lube. It is most suitable for solo play, and would be awkward to combine with other toys.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

The toy is packaged in a plastic case with a pink and yellow design. It is plastic, so it could be used as a storage box or for presenting as a gift. The package isn't very attractive though, so it would look cute if the packaging was discarded when giving a gift.
    • Good for storage
    • Recyclable
    • Would make a nice gift

Personal comments

The caps to this vibrator are useless, but the vibrator itself is fantastic! It gives pretty intense orgasms, unlike other smaller vibes. I love it!
    • Cute
    • Pink
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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This review was edited by
  • Alicia Contributor: Alicia
  • Rank:
    6.7 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 72
Comments
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  • Contributor: Airen Wolf
    I love these pocket rocket type vibes for massage, they are amazing.
  • Contributor: Porfiriato
    Great review!
  • Contributor: fghjkl
    I can't believe there's 10 settings on this thing! Crazy! I like your idea of using it for headaches. Great review, thanks so much! It's been wishlisted
  • Contributor: mllebeauty
    I agree...10 settings? My pocket rocket has just the one. Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: wondertoes
    Thanks everyone! I was actually pleasantly surprised by the ten functions too! It's a fab vibe!
  • Contributor: ellejay
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: mikebooks
    Perfect review !! Thanks ... I think we will go for this one!
  • Contributor: Glac
    thanks
  • Contributor: Ghost
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: Kaltir
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: marrythenight
    this is a detailed and well-written review, thanks! and ten settings? dayummm.
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