E-sensual bullet - usb bullet discontinued by Cal Exotics - review by Ouroborean

The E-Sensual bullet is fairly straightforward as toys go: a non-battery-operated bullet that plugs into your USB port. It boasts seven vibration settings, three of which are a patternless, constant buzz in differing intensities, while the others range from pulses (some of which change speed) to a slow, rolling wave of increasing and decreasing intensity.

The black bullet version of this toy is coated with a hard plastic that has a pleasant, almost velvety finish. It has no particularly noticeable taste or odor and is blessedly non-porous and easy to clean - just rinse with warm water and gentle, anti-bacterial soap. One thing to watch out for while cleaning, however, is the opening where the cord enters the bullet. It is slightly wider than the cord itself and one does run the risk of getting water in the bullet.

The intended usage of this toy would seem to be clear. A bullet that plugs into the computer? Well, you know what they say about the internet and porn. However, I would argue that this little bullet is more versatile than that. As a bullet that requires no batteries, you can be assured that it won't suddenly give out on you in a heated moment (at least not due to a lack of power). This little fellow can go wherever you've got a USB adapter. For instance, if you keep one near your bed to charge your phone, well...

But wait, there's more! For those in long-distance relationships, this toy can go a long way toward heating up a late night Skype date.

The design of this toy is quite sleek and discreet. Certainly, it looks like a bullet, but it's perfectly possible to keep it next to your computer, assuming your home office is a semi-private space. I've found that all but the most eagle-eyed of passers by tend not to notice it. It's just another thing with wires plugged into the beast that is my computer tower. Leaving it out might even tickle one's more exhibitionist tendencies, assuming one has them. Just don't bring it to work!

Because it is fairly compact, it's quite easy to travel with. Pop it in a little toy bag and you're good to go. Just don't put it in your carry-on luggage.

As far as usage and controls go, this little fellow is easy to master. Two simple arrow-shaped buttons will cycle you through the varying intensities - and if you ever forget how it works, the back of the package clearly labels all of the toy's various parts and functions.

On the subject of packaging, the E-Sensual bullet is quite sleek and pleasing. It is not discreet in the least, however. It's entirely clear plastic, decorated with a fairly retro screen-tone design in white, with fuchsia text that somehow manages to be eye-catching and tasteful all at once. The toy's features and functions are detailed on nearly every side of the box and the California Exotic Novelties logo is likewise present in as many places as it possibly can be. In the box, there is absolutely no doubting that this is a sex toy.

But let's get down to the nitty-gritty. How strong is it, how loud is it and how does it feel?

It's strong. It warrants every one of those vrooms I've given it. At its highest intensity, it'll make your socks shoot off. In addition to the strength of its vibrations, they are also pinpointed with nearly laser-like precision. If you don't like pinpointed sensations - particularly powerful ones - then this toy might not be for you. Furthermore, the nature of the vibrations is notably buzzy. While this is just fine for some, and some (like yours truly) even enjoy it, it's definitely not for everyone.

If you prefer diffuse, rumbly sensations, you're probably either going to want to look elsewhere, or use this toy through a barrier, such as clothing or sheets.

Finally, this toy is fairly noisy. It's not quite swarm-of-angry-hornets noisy, but it might possibly be heard through a closed door if there isn't much other background noise. It'll definitely be heard from a few rooms away if, like me, you accidentally turn it on while it's sitting on your desk.

Before I close this review, I have one final note. This toy may not have the longest shelf life. While it is of fairly good make, the cords are still a touch flimsy and with frequent use, they may eventually become twisted to such a degree that power only sporadically reaches the bullet, causing it to occasionally give out - sometimes at inopportune moments. It's fairly mid-priced for a bullet, so it might not be completely out of the question to replace it when this happens but one should be aware of the potentiality.