Siri - discreet massager by LELO - review by (Re)tired Stripper

Siri is beautiful to behold. I purchased the pink and white variety, the former constructed of silicone and the latter of ABS plastic. As it is with all Lelo pleasure objects, this slick little vibe was elegantly packaged and a delight to unwrap. It can stay on my dresser, with or without the included satin drawstring bag. It's that discreet and lovely.

As much design is put into the packaging and the construction of the vibrator itself, it's also a joy to use. For me, it's solely a clitoris/vulva stimulator, but I can imagine the pulsations would feel nice for the perineum, nipples, or any other sensitive areas. However, bear in mind, Siri is not to be inserted into the anus or vagina.

If you're sensitive, Siri will gently guide you into plentiful orgasms. If you are used to the Hitachi (I'm looking at myself here!), amp Siri up and I'm pretty sure you'll come to enjoy the sensations, including the deeper throbbing as opposed to the more superficial feel of cheaper vibes or of wand massagers.

This is pure clit pleasure, plain and simple. The various modes (easily navigated in the dark due to the lit up directional buttons) go from a subtle, barely-there pulsation right on up to wake-the-neighbors-with-your-pleasure-sounds from this pleasure object. So while Siri delivers big time, it won't numb the clit quite like the wand massagers or other heavy-duty vibes. This tends to allow me to experience multiple orgasms with ease. I can alter the strength of the vibration as well as switch it up to slow throbs, frenetic pulsing, and even a song-like mode that actually feels really amazing (but what IS that song?).

While Siri is great for solo love affairs, it's also added an amazing new dynamic during partner sex. Siri fits in the palm of your hand and cups the vulva perfectly. I can't think of any positions it doesn't enhance! The barely perceptible noise makes this vibe ideal for sex with partners who are either easily distracted or uncomfortable with power tools in the bedroom.

Siri is also perfect for travel, as you can hold down the two horizontal +/- buttons for five seconds and lock things up to avoid accidents or, worse yet, draining the juice and having to recharge when you get to your hotel room and want it NOW!

Because it's made in part of lovely non-porous silicone, I advise against using silicone lubes with Siri or storing Siri in contact with other silicone toys. It will likely mutilate your expensive, luxury beauty. It's best to keep Siri segregated in its sleek satin bag.

I've got a sensitive sniffer, but as I've found with all Lelo items, Siri is no different and has no real detectable odor. If I really get up on it and inhale, the silicone bit might smell ever so faintly of silicone, while the white plastic is still void of scent. I love the smooth, slick, white plastic part in contrast with the pink silicone end.

I don't really like the seam through the middle of the plastic. If that area gathers any dust or grime of any sort, it's a pain to clean. I remedied it with an Afterglow wipe, but I'm sure a standard baby wipe would do. I've found the same issue with the faint "LELO" imprint that sits right above the buttons, as well as the grooves around the four buttons themselves. It's not a huge issue, but it's worth noting. Now I just keep Siri in the little black satin drawstring bag, and I don't have to deal with this (unless you're one to eat Chee-tos while masturbating, I doubt you'll have a problem then, either!).

While any user (a perfect first vibe, or great for us jaded Hitachi devotees) will likely enjoy Siri, it's important to reiterate that silicone lubes and toys don't get along. Silicone lubes are easy to identify: they are the ultra-slick, slippery stuff that you just can't get off of your skin. The label on your bottle of lube should tell you if it's silicone-based, but if it doesn't, look in ingredients for words ending in "-cone," such as dimethicone.

Anyone familiar with the Lelo line will expect nothing short of a piece of artistry. Anyone new to the brand will be surprised by the quality of material and the unique style of Siri. The shape is perfect as it literally fits in the palm of my hand. I have average-sized hands. Length-wise it measures about 3 3/4 inches, and it's about an inch and a half wide. It is smaller and lighter than my new cell phone (LG Optimus), and with quieter vibrations.

I can cup Siri in the palm of my hand, and it fits right over the vulva, with the soft silicone tip positioned over the clitoris. The vibrations are targeted and precise, which is excellent for anyone with sensitivity difficulties or with clitorises that like to hide behind their hoods, like mine.

Because it's small and dare I say...cute (it reminds me of a cute little space creature, how creepy is my mind?), beginners won't be intimidated and I doubt your partner will be should you choose to introduce Siri to your lover. It's also small enough to slip under a pillow at a moment's notice. You could also flip it over, button-side down, and it looks like a modern art piece. Women with more experience in the toy department will delight in Siri's luxurious, first-rate style and material. This isn't your grandmother's vibe...or is it? I can't imagine anyone looking at the Siri and passing it over for another high-end clitoral vibe.

Siri has a couple layers of protection against prying eyes should you wish to travel with it in tow: it has a white-lined, black satin pouch (though it does have a tiny LELO tag on the seam) which you could place in the signature Lelo black box. The box is constructed of very sturdy black cardboard that would be difficult to crush. As mentioned, you can travel without worry by holding down the +/- buttons for five seconds. This will lock Siri, and you can unlock by doing the exact same thing until the LED lights flip back on.

The vibrations can be felt throughout Siri, but they hone in on the colored, silicone portion. Which is great by me, as the silicone feels like velvet and is a delight to hold against the skin.

I really enjoyed the different settings. For me, some of the pulsations felt like oral, especially when used with lube. This was startling and immensely pleasurable. It's a very strong vibe, but you can start yourself off tenderly with what I consider 1 of 5 vrooms and moves all the way on up to a solid 4 vrooms. It's not quite as powerful as the lower setting on the Hitachi, but it's not far off--the sensations are just very different, as the Siri has a deeper pulsing that isn't just on the surface.

It's a very easy vibe to get the hang of, which is important to me. I don't need masturbation to be complicated. Who does? There are four LED buttons that all flash white when you change a pulsation or strength. You must hold down the button for a second or two in order to change functions, which I've found to be an asset rather than a downside. I hate when a vibrator turns off on me, or changes to a low setting when I'm almost over the edge. There are several intensity modes, and to go up, you can either press and wait, or you may hold the button down to ramp up to your desired level of stimulation. This also works when turning the device off: just hold down the "-" button. One note, be absolutely sure you've turned it off all the way. The lowest setting is very, very low, and I've drained my battery on two occasions because I thought Siri was completely off.

The different patterns work by pressing the up/down buttons. There are six very distinct modes: constant vibration, short and fast pulses, very fast pulsing, long pulses, pulses that sort of rollercoaster and run on a loop, and finally, the very strange but oddly appealing "song" pulsation that is difficult to describe. You'll have to try the last one for yourself!

Siri lets you know when it needs to be charged by blinking red lights on the four-button display. You plug it in for two hours, and when Siri stops blinking, it's ready to use. This toy can't be overcharged, but for the environment's sake (and your electric bill), it's best not to leave it too long. While charging, this toy and the charger do get warm, but not so hot as to feel like a fire waiting to happen. I'd feel safe falling asleep with it charging.

The noise is a meek little purr, which is great for all of my uses. Perfect for living with roommates, or even if you want to let your lover sleep but don't want to get out of bed. It's also phenomenal for quiet partner sex. Sometimes I find vibrations quite distracting during sex, so this is a huge plus for me. The bees are basically always a 1 out of 5, but the strongest setting with the "musical" pulsation is arguably a 2 of 5 bees.

Never let Siri near water. I know, I know. I wish I could enjoy it everywhere, but the tub/pool/etc are off-limits.

Siri can be cleaned with most toy cleansers or simply warm water and a little bit of antibaterial suds and patted dry with a (clean!) towel. Don't use products with alcohol, acetone, or petroleum. Don't ever submerge while cleaning, and don't allow water to enter the charging port or the buttons.

I find that aside from the grooves in the logo and around the plastic seam, Siri is extremely low maintenance. I like using toy wipes when I'm in a hurry.

The best place to store Siri is in the provided pouch, which is luxurious anyway, so it feels like a treat every time you pluck it out of your toy chest. Don't you dare store Siri in direct sunlight or high heat lest it melt and deform. Again, it's best to also keep Siri segregated from other toys and any silicone lubes. Dust isn't Siri's friend either.

Every Lelo toy I've run across comes in a sort of "keepsake" black box crafted of an extremely sturdy cardboard with a separate lid. The logo embossed on top is faint enough to be discreet, and only your fellow kinkyfolk will know what it is! When you open the box, Siri is encased in a black paper and clear plastic container which you open by tearing off the perforated top. This means you can know for certain you won't be getting a used toy. I like that, because I'm not keen on germs. Below this lies the satin drawstring pouch, the charger, a user's manual, information on the one year warranty, and a shiny little booklet with artistic photos of other Lelo pleasure objects and an explanation of their wonderful 10-year guarantee. This means if in 10 years anything should happen to Siri, you send it right along to them, they assess the problem and dispose of the item in an environmentally-correct fashion, and offer you a 50% discount on your next purchase. The caveat here is you must register on lelo.com to qualify, but I think it's worth it. It's a fantastic promise they stand behind, and I've had so many expensive toys break on me that I feel confident Lelo will take care of me should any mishaps occur with Siri.

The instructions were in tiny print, but readable and concise. The only reason it feels so thick is the manual comes in several languages. So don't worry, there's not a lot of heavy reading to do. The information in the three booklets is up-to-date, and the prose is perhaps a little flowery but still lends a luxe feel to the "pleasure object," as Lelo calls all of its toys. I like that. "Toy" to me feels cutesy and maybe even a little naughty, and I don't think sex and masturbation should be considered "naughty" at all. Too many companies give off that vibe in describing their products, and it's a real turn-off for me, just as Lelo is a real revelation. I'm gonna get anthropomorphic: Lelo feels like a successful, confident woman who is sex positive and knows how to take care of herself, but also how to lure in any lover she desires with her sleek sensuality.

Siri would be a gift well received by any woman open to masturbation, or even a woman who has never really masturbated successfully before. There's nothing embarrassing about the packaging or product, and the elegant presentation makes the package perfect for both gifting and storing.

Since taking Wellbutrin for Seasonal Affective Disorder, I've had a hard time consistently reaching orgasm. I'd found myself reaching for the Hitachi more and more, and was becoming numb to partnered activities or solo manual stimulation. Even so, I've been using Siri to train myself to enjoy those deep, slow, pulsing sensations. And the highest setting along with a full battery charge does provide some serious power. I can use Siri to get off quickly (for me), or to be a clit-tease and frustrate myself for...dare I say...the full four hours? Ok, so I've never done that, but there's a first time for everything. I love that Siri gets me in the mood when I'm in any sort of mood, though it may not get me there as quickly as my beloved Hitachi. I still think I just might love it more.