I rub my wormie - discreet massager by Big Teaze Toys - review by Duchess von Kink

Measuring in at over seven inches long with a head two inches in diameter, I relished the thought of what this innocent looking little worm could do. Don't let his sweet smile fool you, I Rub My Wormie is ready for some serious action powered by two C batteries. The vibrations definitely live up to the power requirements; it is not a toy for those who like it gentle.

I first tried the toy with a partner, quickly bringing him to a serviceable erection by rubbing the worm over the front of his jeans. We then tried a variety of positions with the worm as an added clit stimulator. We had the most luck with me riding a reverse cowgirl. The long shaft allowed me to keep a steady grip and hold him right where I wanted him. In many other positions, the worm's two inch head was just too big, resulting in many readjustments to keep from grinding his bulk into my soft parts.

I decided to take the worm for a second test drive solo. After a lot of time, lubrication, and concentration, I found that although it is shaped like it might be delicious for some g-spot loving, I did not achieve sufficient penetration due to the size and angle of the head. The other end of the worm is the battery compartment cap, and I chose not to use it for insertion.

I moved to the shower to test the worm's claim of waterproof. I am happy to report it passed with flying colors; no water on the inside and no shock.

I Rub My Wormie has two speed settings controlled with a rocker switch on the tail end. The slow speed has almost a wave-like quality to it. The fast is intense. Both settings are noisy, especially when the head is pointed down. I do enjoy powerful toys, but I found this one to be hard to get just right for an easy clitoral orgasm.

I Rub My Wormie is non-toxic, phthalate-free, PVC-free, and latex-free. The Soft2Touch material is delightful when used with a small amount of water-based lube and has no detectable smell. Cleaning is simple, just scrub it with your favorite toy cleaner and rinse thoroughly. I Rub My Wormie comes complete with a warranty card and illustrated instructions in seven languages. He arrives in beautiful packaging sitting on a log and backed up with a lush green leaf. Even the writing is fun without being too cute.

While I Rub My Wormie definitely found some nice spots, I found it difficult to consistently achieve great orgasms. Even still, I Rub My Wormie would make a great racy bachelorette party gift. What bride-to-be wouldn't blush when confronted with a seven inch smiling worm?