Jumping Jack-Hammer

A slightly plus sized vibrator that really does jump around... just not in a good way. It lures you in like an exotic dancer with the possibility of high powered vibrations, only to reveal that it's more like a break dancer on crack.
The noise level is an assault on your ears, whilst its jerking, jack-hammer like vibrations attack your internal organs. The flowing, curvaceous shape is highly pleasurable and has led me to decide that this toy works far better as a dildo than as a vibrator.
Published:
Pros
Body safe
Pleasurable shape
Easy to use
Waterproof
Cons
May be too big for some tastes
LOUD
Feels like a jack-hammer
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

The Jumpin' Gyrator is a slightly plus-sized vibrator designed for internal vaginal use. Just as the name suggests it does do a bit of jumping and gyrating, sadly though this isn't a positive thing. It can be a bit like taking a jack-hammer to your privates. A sensation that appears to be caused by the large, C sized batteries clanking around within the body of the toy.

As the shaft is quite straight it isn't the best toy for G-Spotting, however it is amazing for thrusting both with and without the vibrations. It looks like it could be great for clitoral use as well but the numbing, high pitched buzzing along with its jack-hammer effect made me rule that out as an option. I love my clit and don't think it would appreciate that kind of abuse.

This toy is suited to both couple and solo use in just about setting as it is 100% waterproof. However due to it's high noise level I wouldn't suggest it for those who live in shared accommodation or with children. Also as it doesn't have a flared base it isn't a toy I would recommend for anal use.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • G-spot

Material / Texture

Made from PU coated plastic which is 100% body safe and has received a 7 on the Eden materials safety guide. It is both Phthalate & latex free, and non porous , which means it can be sterilised. It has no smell or taste - just the way all sex toys should be.

The surface texture is smooth and velvety, with a nice luxurious feel to it. It is strong and rigid without any give like other materials such as silicone. Its surface creates less drag then silicone or glass and is one of my favourite materials for it is very easy to clean and care for whilst being compatible with all types of lube.
    • No odor
    • Not porous at all
    • Rigid

Design / Shape / Size

The over all length of this toy is 8.25" with a 6.25" shaft which the 2" base of the toy is screwed directly onto. The widest point of the shaft is in the bulge closest to the top of the toy which has a maximum girth of 5.25". In the middle of the shaft there is slight inward curve, a little like the waist of a woman's body. This creates two slightly larger bulges in the shaft that are defined just enough to enhance the toy's pleasure.

I have the plum version and am really impressed with the richness and depth of its colour, its one control button is also a purple-ish, plum like colour, but a far paler shade. If you prefer it is also available in pink and purple(It says purple, but looks far more like blue) from Eden.

It is very simple and intuitive to use and would be suited to any experience level, just be sure to check out the 1:1 ratio image as some may find this toy to be a bit too wide for their tastes. Yet at the same time, If your tastes are anything akin to mine the fuller figure shaft may just be exactly what you are looking for.

Functions / Performance / Controls

There is just the one, simple button to control this toy and cycle through its three vibration levels. It is both placed and programmed for easy, intuitive use with the button being ergonomically placed right where your thumb rests as you hold the toy to insert it. The base of the toy where the control button is located is a screw on screw off style cap that closes tightly to prevent water from getting into the battery housing.

Being powered by 2 large, C sized batteries I had expected some Hitachi like, super strong vibrations and was immediately under-whelmed by the toys strength when I first switched it on. I was also shocked by how loud it is, the vibration noises compounded with the racket caused by the batteries rattling about within the toy leads to some serious noise. It can easily be heard through the covers and the door, as well as being clearly audible over the television by someone who is outside of the room.

The batteries jostling about also makes it feel slightly jumpy in your hands, which I assume is what led them to calling it the Jumpin' Gyrator. A far nicer name than Jerking Jack-hammer!

I decided the toy still deserved further experimentation, albeit whilst no one was home and all the doors and windows were shut tight. I ended up discovering that whilst the vibrations didn't feel super charged, their frequency is certainly nothing to sneeze at. Against my hand they were very buzzy, surface only vibrations that threatened to numb the hand I was holding it with. With the toy inserted in its intended place the vibrations were completely different. Very deep and rumbly vibrations, the style that travel deep into your tissues. Passing from one area to another, almost making your teeth chatter.

Whilst I found these deep vibrations to be pleasurable for short periods of time (under 5 minutes), any extended amount of use made it feel like my uterus was being attacked by a jack-hammer!
    • Easy to use
    • Loud
    • Not discreet at all

Care and Maintenance

Unless you count needing some earplugs to prevent damage to your hearing, or some kind of safety device to keep your insides from shaking out this toy is super easy to care for.

Being completely waterproof you don't need to worry about water damaging it during cleaning. Simple warm water and a disinfecting soap is sufficient for cleaning, or your favourite toy cleaner if you prefer. As it is non-porous it can be sterilised by cleaning it in a diluted bleach solution. Putting it through the dishwasher or boiling it are out as the excessive heat may fry the electrical components.

After washing let it dry thoroughly and remove the batteries before storing. This will help to save their power, prevent the toy from turning on if accidentally bumped and prevent the toy from getting damaged if the batteries were to leak.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

The packaging for the Jumpin' Gyrator isn't really much to write home about. Just your standard California Exotics packaging; a clear cradle holding the toy within a clear plastic box which has information about the toy written on it. Sadly it isn't re-usable nor is it recyclable and it is certainly far from discreet.

Experience

When I saw this toy available on Eden I was drawn in by both its size and the possibility of it being a power horse of a vibrator - It is powered by 2 C sized batteries after all. The size truly satisfies me, but everything else left me unimpressed and my internal organs a little unhappy.

The way that it jerks about with the large batteries causing a racket was disappointing and distracting rather than pleasurable. The jack-hammer like noises and sensations have caused this to be demoted to the back of my wardrobe. Relegated to being an enjoyable, fuller sized, rigid dildo rather than a turbo charged vibrator.
Follow-up commentary
I like the size but the rattling batteries have meant that this toy hasn't seen the light of day since completing this review.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Jobthingy
    Ear plugs LOL Great review
  • Contributor: TheSinDoll
    Nice Review!
  • Contributor: cherryredhead88
    This definitely is interesting. I hate C batteries though, and the 3 straight cycles bore me ! Great review girl
  • Contributor: Screaming Violet
    Its so GD Noisy!!
  • Contributor: A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
    Great review!
  • Contributor: M121212
    Ooph, this doesn't sound too good!
  • Contributor: Love Buzz
    After reviewing it I must admit I've not touched it again. Not a toy Ill be using again
  • Contributor: Stinkytofu10
    Great review, thank you!
  • Contributor: Missmarc
    Great review, thank you!
  • Contributor: slickwillie
    ty
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