Waterproof jungle-G tiger - sex toy by Cal Exotics - review by ologies

I won't be coy with you, as this toy's use is about as obvious as a bag of bricks upside the head -- its primary aim is in the name itself and its tried-and-true design that aspires to lovingly prod your nether regions for the promised land of the G-spot. Doe-eyed adventurers new to the dark forest of sex toys will find that this toy is sufficient and can adequately do the job, but will be eager to graduate on to more advanced horizons. It is decent for basic thrusting, and I suppose you could use it to stimulate the clitoris with moderate success, but the truth is that the Jungle-G is more of a LOLcat than a tiger.

Veteran perverts, turn back now -- your money is better spent elsewhere.

This toy is a dime a dozen as far materials go -- in fact, I'd venture to say that you, the fair reader, may or may not own a hairbrush made of more interesting material than this run-of-the-mill vibrator. It's made of cheap, unscented, unflavored, lightweight plastic with a smooth finish and a vertical seam that, while it shouldn't be noticeable mid-action, can be easily felt by your fingers. You'd find more interesting taste and texture in a bowl of oatmeal, but if a smooth ride is what you're after, the Jungle-G will sufficiently satisfy.

Don't let the name fool you; the black and orange pattern is more "crayon scribble" than it is "sexy and fabulous tiger fur," but it is fitting with this vibrator's bargain-bin appeal. If you're not particularly concerned with little things such as accuracy to represented animal's natural coat pattern, then this is obviously not a strike against the toy.

The design tried to be clever, it really did, and I'm going to give it a B for effort for trying to set itself apart from other carbon-copy G-spot vibrators (after all, there really are only so many ways to invent the wheel), but the built-in "shower hook" was inevitably going to be used as a place to slide your fingers into to get more leverage with each thrust. So a note to the manufacturer: could you do everyone a favor and make it sturdier? Gentler masturbators may not encounter this problem, but if you're the kind whose mind invariable slips into a fit of orgasmic rage/joy, there's a good chance you're going to Hulk out and snap the little black piece clean off the base.

In length alone, I found that that was one place this vibrator did excel, but I'm sorry to report that ladies who have shallow g-spots will likely not reap the benefits of its curved-for-your-pleasure tip. For those with smaller/tighter vaginas, especially first-time users and virgins, the girth of this should not be something that causes you to wake you up in the middle of the night screaming and clutching your lady bits -- our faux-feline friend is relatively small in girth and will not intimidate your pussy into terrified unresponsiveness.

I feel like I don't need to speak much to the discreetness of a tiger-striped, vibrating phallus that you can hang in your shower.

For the indecisive amongst us, good news! You have two choices: strong or slightly stronger. You have exactly one button that controls the speeds and turns the vibrator off, which is unfortunate if you're a chronic speed-changer, as you'll have to turn the vibrator off before you can click it back to the lower setting again.

The vibration does a modestly good job of moving all the way up the shaft; you don't lose much vibration to your hand, which is a definite positive. However, when out in the open and partially to not at all inserted, forget using this in a dorm setting lest you get your RA banging on the door for a noise violation. Music, covers, and a closed door combined are a must if you're not planning on putting on a free show for your neighbors, or quickly rushing to the door with a flushed face to try and answer the dubious "what was that noise?" question when your male roommate inevitably shows up at the worst time -- not that I'd know, right?!

Good news is, our plastic friend does well in the shower, though I felt I lost a little vibration when it was completely submerged underwater. I'll be honest, I was just as paranoid about the buzzing it made even in the noise of the shower, so for those jittery, shy wankers, this might not be for you.

Caring for this toy is easy -- A hard plastic surface means any lube will do, and a bit of soap and hot water will zap any residue. With a smooth, texture-free shaft, rest assured that there are no tricky nooks and crannies for conniving little bacterial bastards to hang out and make a man cave, or whatever it is they do while grossing you out.