Mini Massager of Mediocrity

The only thing the Mini really excels at is mediocrity. For every pro, there is a con. However, for every con, there is a pro.

Ultimately, for the price, you could make poorer choices in life. If you need a little something extra to get you off during sex and aren't looking to spend a fortune or intimidate your boyfriend, this will definitely do the trick.

Good 'starter' toy.
Published:
Pros:
Safe Material
Affordable
Waterproof
Cons:
Useless 'Features' (spiked heads? why?)
Unimpressive Power:Noise Ratio
Cheap Twist-Shaft Design
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

The Mini Massager is an external toy meant to be used on the clitoris, labia, nipples, etc. You may be tempted to insert it, but I'd suggest rethinking that plan due to the removable head(s) that could theoretically slip off inside you and the nature of the Mini's on/off switch. The heads do grip on pretty firmly, but the payoff is unlikely to be worth the worst fishing game in history.

You turn on the vibrating function by twisting the shaft, and twisting it in the opposite direction to turn it off. Unfortunately, this is also how you open the battery compartment, and there is no additional resistance or extra step to do so causing the compartment to open virtually every time I tried to turn the vibrator off.

For this reason, I would also recommend against using it in the shower or the tub, no matter how waterproof it may be when sealed. If you do, I would definitely remove it from its potential watery grave before attempting to shut it off.

Another reason to avoid using this in the shower or tub is that this is a relatively loud vibrator for the "oomph" it packs. While not jackhammer loud, in an acoustically exceptional environment like the shower (or worse, underwater in the tub), this is not a discreet toy.

I would suggest placing the Mini under 'house arrest' and confining it to the bedroom where its moderately loud noises can be muffled by the covers.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • On a bed only
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • Nipples

Material / Texture

The Mini is made out of a hard plastic that allows vibration to travel well. You can use it outside of thin fabric like underwear or a t-shirt, and the vibrations will glide through effortlessly.

In addition, the vibrator is waterproof should you decide to ignore my warnings and leave your roommates/family abuzz (ha!) with talk of the strange noises coming from the bathroom that morning, you can certainly choose to do so without damage to the vibrator itself. The seal does become pretty worthless if the battery compartment is open though, so do take care to turn the vibrator off when it is above water, as I found it far too easy to accidentally twist the shaft too far when turning it off, exposing the battery compartment.

The shaft of the vibrator is smooth, and it comes with four interchangeable heads. Due to the nature of the hard plastic, I found two of these heads unusable. Both heads are of a 'spikey' variety, and not only is that a little worrying in and of itself, but some of the spikes had extra remnants of plastic making them even pokier. One of the heads is smooth, so you can pretend the others don't exist at all (this has been my plan; it is a fantastic plan), and one has small bumps on it (non-traumatic, but also not very exciting) which I recommend if you're feeling a little more adventurous but not quite ready to jam spikes into your clitoris (and really, haven't we all had days we didn't want sharp objects pressed into our clitoris?).
    • No odor
    • Rigid

Design / Shape / Size

The look of the Mini is relatively discreet in that it does not look like a penis, but if you have a female roommate, she will undoubtedly be able to figure out what it is after roughly 0.002 seconds.

I'd describe it as travel friendly due to it being small and 'cute.' It isn't a vulgar or explicit toy, and if you are okay with airport security knowing that you know you have a clitoris, this is a fine travel item.

The interchangeable heads are a neat idea, but I found that there is always going to be a slight 'groove' in between the end of the head and the rest of the toy which collects lubrication. You will definitely need to remove the head(s) when you clean the toy and clean them separately, which I found tiring after about the third time. They do grip on pretty firmly which is a plus during play and an annoyance during clean-up.
    • Discreet look/design

Functions / Performance / Controls

The idea behind the Mini is good, but the execution is poor.

The four interchangeable heads do very little to stimulate because of the way the vibrator is centered inside the plastic housing. You will find much more vibration coming from the side of the 'head' of the vibrator than the tip itself, rending the heads useless at best and painful if you've opted to use one of the 'spikey' ones. I would suggest wrapping your hand around the end of the Mini and finding where the vibrations are strongest.

The waterproof feature is a good idea for a nondescript toy like the Mini, but it wound up being too loud to use discreetly in the shower or the bath. And if the shaft is twisted too far (very easy to do) in an attempt to turn off the vibrator, it will open the battery compartment, rendering it non-waterproof.

While I'm on the topic of the infamous 'shaft twist' design, there are levels of connectivity as you twist. I'm pretty sure this is more of a bug than an intended feature, but it may work as either for you. If I twisted it all the way in the "on" direction, the vibration was less than if it was nearly "on". While the Mini has no intended power levels, you can play with it to give you varying levels of sensation. In a way, this is better than the vibrators that have preset levels because there is a gradual increase, and you can find the level that is just right for you. That said, it may not be very good for the vibrator as it was probably not intended to be used that way, so if it stops working or explodes, I refuse to be held liable. Ultimately, I am not impressed with the implementation of the 'shaft twist' design here.

The vibration level(s) are okay but produce a bit more noise than they probably should for what you get. For the price, this seems to be a reasonable trade-off, but do be aware of it if you are in a dorm or similar housing.

There is a light on the Mini that will turn on when the vibrator function is engaged. I guess this is to help lost boyfriends who just can't seem to find the clitoris. It did not seem to have a function during solo play other than being mildly distracting and possibly draining the battery. Over time my hatred of this feature grew.
    • Easy to use
    • Not enough variety

Care and Maintenance

Hard plastic is easy to care for, so that's a definite plus. It's not sticky, so no worries about lint coming out of nowhere to nest on your toy. It's not very porous, so fears about something terrible festering deep within are low. There's no weird smell when it's new, and it doesn't acquire weird smells as you use it.

You can wash this with antibacterial soap and hot water, and due to the waterproof feature (make sure the battery compartment is closed!), you can have even fewer concerns about running it under the tap.

The design of the toy makes things a little trickier than the material, however. The interchangeable heads must be removed and washed by themselves, and depending on how many you find yourself using, this will get old fast. They grip on very well which is fantastic during play but makes cleaning annoying. For me, this qualifies the Mini as 'hard to clean.'

The Mini plays well with both water and silicone based lubricants.
    • Hard to clean

Packaging

Simple, nearly minimalist plastic packaging surrounds the Mini as it arrives, and you can technically re-use it, but it does not come with any 'wow' factor. For the price, I found the packaging very reasonable. For a more discreet look, the cardboard insert that comes in the plastic snap-shut container can be removed.
    • Minimal
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • Kindred Kindred
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Comments
  • dbtracy
    dbtracy  
    Nice review
  • stars
    stars  
    thanks for this review!
  • Bullfroggy and Rose
    Bullfroggy and Rose  
    thank you
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