No Wonder It Was Discontinued.

This toy failed to excite us. If it wasn't free I don't think I would ever have picked it up. It's quite understandable why Doc Johnson discontinued it.
Published:
Pros:
Decent vibrations, waterproof, economical packaging, free.
Cons:
Not insertable (ouch!), one setting, boring.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

The Twisted Hearts seduction massager is a vibrating massager toy from Doc Johnson. It's meant to stimulate the clitoris as it's quite difficult to insert. This toy is likely intended for solo play, but it'll obviously work well in a couples situation as well. A major gripe is that it's not quite insertable (at least in my girlfriend's case.) Apart from that the physical ability to use this toy isn't hampered.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris

Material / Texture

The material is odorless out of the package. The toy is covered in TPR and feels firm but rubbery and soft to the touch. The material has sort of a velvety feel. The inside battery housing is plastic, but doesn't feel cheap. The texture is this weird swirl that hasn't been really replicated in any other sex toy. It's interesting and provides additional clitoral stimulation if you use it on one side but it's awful for insertion unless you've got the square footage to spare. The texture is smooth but the swirl does provide extra fun. The toy is decent for beginners as it doesn't really have a learning curve.

    • No odor
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

The design of the toy is what I feel to be its biggest flaw. It's almost the right size to be inserted but the swirl definitely prevents it from being safely done so (at least in my girlfriend's case, again). Its actual vibrations were okay. I'm not quite sure what the intended use of the swirl was but it certainly ended up being more clitorally used. The size is odd. It's not as long as an average dildo but it's longer than a bullet, putting it in a bit of an awkward zone. It's fairly easy to hide because of the size and form factor. It's admittedly not very discreet, as it looks like... a sex toy. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    • Beginner
    • Ergonomic
    • Whimsical / artistic

Functions / Performance / Controls

The actual function of the toy is that.. well.. it vibrates. The vibrations come from the swirly nub part of the toy. It has only one speed and turns on and off via a dial on the base. The fact that it vibrates is pretty solid, but the fact that it's difficult to insert/not insertable is not. It's not a very noisy toy. 3/5 bees tops, but it's audible under a bed from the other side of a small room. It is waterproof though and performs quite well in water. It's decent with batteries. The vibrations aren't as strong as some strong bullets, but are definitely strong enough to cause orgasm.
    • Long lasting power
    • Not enough variety

Care and Maintenance

This toy is a ridiculous lint magnet. Keeping it in a bag or box of some sort away from carpet/anything fuzzy is definitely recommended. Apart from that, washing it with soap and warm water after use is also recommended. As with all toys store it somewhere cool and dry, and if you're careful, away from public view. It's made of TPR so it's compatible with water-based and silicone-based lubes.

Packaging

The toy comes in a little long clear frosted plastic box. It's usable to store the toy although the plastic is soft and the box is a bit flimsy. It's definitely not discreet (nor are most Doc Johnson products). The box isn't nice enough to be used as a storage box, nor can it be used to hide the toy, per se. The plastic is, however, recyclable.
    • Minimal
    • Not discreet

Personal comments

This toy failed because it simply wasn't exciting. It wasn't insertable when it looked like it could be, and it simply lacked something that made us choose it over other (potentially higher price pointed, albeit) toys. We don't often touch it after the first time...

Experience

My girlfriend found it not insertable. After reading some literature on it I'm still not sure if it's intended to be inserted but we're not trying that again.
Follow-up commentary
We basically never use this thing. It sits and gathers a bit of lint every time we shift it in the toy box. It's just.... a misguided toy I suppose. That or it wasn't for us.
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Comments
  • nohiosomewhere
    nohiosomewhere  
    thanks fr the review
  • kz916
    kz916  
    thanks for the review.
  • zwee75
    zwee75  
    you were very nice to give it 2 stars!
  • Miss Nessa
    Miss Nessa  
    Awesome review! Thanks for taking the time to share it with us.
  • eeep
    eeep  
    Thanks for the review.
  • Katelyn
    Katelyn  
    I have heard nothing but terrible things about this little toy. Thanks for the follow up!
  • unfulfilled
    unfulfilled  
    This wasn't for me either.
  • Tart
    Tart  
    Very good review.
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