Not a queen but deserves her name!The very first USB rabbit vibe has arrived, arrived, arrived to us!!!
Being crazy as hell for any off the grid vroomers of course I had to grab this cute looking loveliness, and though the angle or rotation is far from satisfying for my advanced pleasure toy lover taste, the MIND-BLOWING NUBS give all the bliss to me in return!!!
Nope, it isn't a quiet vroomer, and it isn't made of a non-porous material. But hell yesss I had to get my paws on this amazing invention! Of course!!!
And though there are online stores out there offering Japanese vibes of the same sort, you bet you will rather want to go for the Princess of Precious Metal Jewels, able to see reviews on it for a purrrrrrfectly informed decision!
Whether you are just a shy beginner or a rabid lover of off the grid pleasure toys, this lovely pinkness wants to steal itself into your heart with the cozy size, amazing feature to be turned off in an eye blink, and the always convenient charging method of the nerdy ladies. Though it doesn't have multiple patterns to enjoy, and wasn't created for waterproof fun, it is still an amazingly constructed piece of delight to take the first steps towards developing the "ultimate prepper's rabbit pleaser"!
The slighty tacky, squishy, rubbery TPR has a somewhat strong odor reminding you of jello sweetnesses, and the control area has the smell reminding you of an old and dusty vine cellar! These are still not disturbing, with a matching taste of the TPR having a rather chemical character some may not find pleasant enough... (Oh well, just keep it away from your face I assume!)
The head of the shaft has two shallower oval parts on the two sides, and the shaft itself is richly ribbed with delicious waves, though my flesh must be quite tough not to feel them at all. Under the lovely ribbed portion you see a row of shallow dots in a cupola shape, the bottom ones looking like they are melting away.
The loveliest part of this pink prettiness is that the clitoral arm has INCREDIBLY DELIGHTFUL nubs all over the surface facing you, being stretchy but hard and thick enough that they DO arouse your sweetest spot into the most delicious bliss! (More info on it later in this review...)
No texture on this loveliness is too harsh even for the shyest beginners because of the cushy TPR, and the nubs are so amazingly rich that they will surely satisfy even the most demanding texture lovers in my opinion! As long as you don't mind the porosity of the material (which you can always cover for any kind of pleasures, be it casual uses or hind flesh bliss for females and males alike), everything else is something new, something refreshing in this pink USB pleaser!
Being less girthy with its 1 3/8 inches of diameter than your average pleasure vibe, it is mighty cozy to maneuver in your flesh whether you are a beginner or veteran pleasure toy lover, offering you the freedom to move it around easier to lead the extremely enjoyable nubs to your hungry spot. The insertable length is pretty much as long as it can be for this somewhat short (1 3/8 (on top surface) - 2 inches (on bottom surface) long) clitoral attachment, being 4 1/4 inches long. The clitoral arm is mounted to the shaft almost like concrete, as the rubbery cushiness has a mighty wide base (having max. 1 1/8 inches of diameter), offering minimal flexibility for the nubby arm - for the greatest delight of many of us, because those who always apply a LOT of pressure on their flesh won't have to worry about an always wobbling clitoral teaser!
These listed measurements are already plenty to call this pink loveliness somewhat large, but with the control/battery area it becomes truly enormous! Its total length of 8 3/8 inches just makes you wonder where in the world you will put this giant beauty! But hey, many of us started off with large enough pleasure toys, so we assume that we would be just too picky if we started to fuss about this minor detail... As long as you have enough space for the described size you won't have any problems with hiding it away, and traveling must be manageable by tucking it into a suitcase or backpack as well.
The amazingly special feature is in the controls!
You see an on/off button, which lights up in an amazingly beautiful shade of blue glow, and one long button having the vibration and rotation control, glowing in red when being in use. This doesn't sound special so far, as you just hit the zigzag symbol to change between the 4 levels of vibration, and do the same separately with the spiral symbol for the 4 levels of rotation.
The on/off button is what is innovative in this case! Though we have already met countless vroomers which take only a single moment to turn off - but we have barely seen any vibes which need 2 SECONDS to be turned on, and only the fragment of a moment to turn off in an eye blink! This already tells you that no matter what nosy people live around you, you are always ready to shut this pink pleaser off in any situations without delay! The method of turning it off quickly offers you the freedom of doing so "in case of emergency", and the waiting time to turn it on still gives you a second or two to leave the button alone in case you change your mind because of somebody scaring you by almost breaking the door on you! (My mom had that horrible habit, thank gods I don't have to put up with it anymore...)
You also have one more way to turn the two functions off individually, as after cycling through the 4 levels of vibration and rotation one more hit always means that they turn off with it. So you either do so, or just hit the on/off button as it is. Using the first way however means that you don't have to turn everything off just to stop one function of the two!
This quick description has also made you figure it out that the lovely princess has no memory chip inside to remember what pattern you used last time, so it will always come on with the lowest level of vibration and/or rotation!
And let's get to the actual performance now...
I would like to start with the rotation first. Like I said, you don't have the freedom of bending the shaft to your heart's desire like in the case of the amazing Jopen Vr12 vibe for example. This means that you will have to be satisfied with the one single angle the circling offers, which is, I must admit, truly shallow! It does give pleasure, and you do feel it move in your flesh - but it isn't an angle what rushes at your inner sweet spot, so you either hold it in the needed angle as it is moving around in your flesh, or just stay disappointed because of the lack of arousal. As I find the clitoral nub AMAZINGLY ENJOYABLE I pretty much hesitate every single time if I should be using the rotation to mess around with or not, because its squirming is rather for the most inexperienced beginners in my opinion! Such ladies, afraid of the more serious angles of rotation, will be more than pleased with the cozily slim shaft and the gentle rotation.
And now away from the topic of the pliable shaft, here is what I am in LOVE with in this pink beauty! THE NUBS!!! Whereas the levels of rotation meant the increase of speed for the shaft (you want to know by the way: you can ONLY INCREASE the speed, NEVER DECREASE IT!), for the clitoral pleaser the levels of speed mean the increasing of power for the vrooms. Like in the case of many vibes, the higher you go, the buzzier the vrooms become. And now you will be surprised by what I am about to say!
Though I could hardly tell the level of vrooms on the highest level, as they seem to be much-much weaker than what my always starving flesh demands, the ravishing, rich, thick nubs give such an intense sensation even with the slightest thrusting that probably from a level 2, level 3 vroom they add to the intensity to reach a level of mighty healthy 4 vrooms!!! And when I say mighty, I do mean MIGHTY! Because every time I stopped the thrusting only to focus on the power level, I could never resist to go back to vigorous thrusting, giving the MOST WONDERFUL SENSATIONS even with tiny, gentle moves!!!
I was every time like WOW JESUS CHRIST AND ALL THE HOLY COWS!!! Now I really don't wonder how come that the Japanese and Chinese toy industry seem to create oh so popular nubby, fuzzy, thorny little beasts for the greatest delight of the cute little Asian girls! (Getting more and more into researching their interesting looking items of delight, as I am fascinated almost with everything what is Asian, be it old history or modern pop culture.)
And only one more thing is out there to tell you about the pink loveliness: as you already know that it isn't waterproof, and that it is charged with USB power (which I am going to comment on more extensively later in this review), I bet you are dying to know how noisy this amazing nubby vroomer is. (And what you also may be interested in: no accidental hits will disturb the level of your pleasure, as you have to push the buttons deep and hard enough to control them - for the great delight of those who are fed up with far too sensitive buttons!)
Well, the rotation is quiet enough not to be heard through a closed door. But oh my, the vibration, especially on the higher levels, is definitely something you don't want anyone to hear in the neighboring room! In my experience it must be depending on the position of the different layers of materials when it is rattling like crazy or not, but you don't want to risk anything, just to be sure about not being heard. You better find some time for yourself when nobody is being at home, unless you live with your precious one who doesn't mind hearing such loud vroomers, or by yourself of course. Otherwise this is not the best choice of pleasure toy when you have to deal with unwanted surprises of family members or roommates. This is probably the only quality of this loveliness what may give the final word for your decision...
There is no info anywhere on the packaging or in the provided manual if this amazing pinkness can be overcharged, or anything at all about the charging routine, so we know officially only that it needs 4 hours for a complete charge. Slide one end of the charging wire into your USB port, and "ehem" the covered butt of the jeweled princess with the other end, and see that it is being charged indicated by a red glow of the on/off button. As I remember it will be flashing when it is fully charged, but once only, don't trust my word on this please, as I am not entirely sure about it! Even if it doesn't glow, after 4 hours it must have its yummy charge, as long as the red glow was going on for the entire time. There is also no info on how long a charge is supposed to last, and of course forget everything you know about standby time, because I don't remember ever seeing any info of such sort about any CalEx vibes I have encountered! Hopefully the lack of revealing such important details won't lead us into ruining our precious rechargeable CalEx vroomers...
Like mentioned before, storing may be iffy for those who can't stand bulky pleasure objects, but oh my, who couldn't be creative enough to solve such problems? As long as you keep this NON-WATERPROOF pleaser dry at all costs you won't have to worry about corrosion of any kind!
I assume because of the nature of the design we don't even hope to have a discreet kind of packaging, showing basic info everywhere, with satisfying material info and legal notes of course. On the back you can see a picture of the precious and the USB cord, and the size of the box isn't larger than needed for the size of the vibe! That is lovely news for everyone who can't stand seeing the waste of materials many pleasure toys are packaged into!
There is one most basic manual inside, and I am saying it because it shows the very well-known battery insertion depictions - which is pretty funky in the case of a RECHARGEABLE pleasure vibe!
Because of not being larger than needed, the original packaging can surely be used for storage, but you still want to be sure that everything is kept purrrrrrfectly dry and safe! Though I can't use the same enthusiasm to make my comments on the gifting options, because unless you tell the gifted person that (s)he is going to receive a pleasure toy, not wanting to open it with unauthorized company around, it will surely create mighty uncomfortable situations!
You may skip this part if it is drilled into your interests good enough how many ways there are to charge/run a USB vroomer, otherwise you may want to go through this quick note in the greatest enthusiasm...
I keep on raving about anything what can be charged/run with this more and more commonly used way, because there are various ways to give your lovely vibes their yummy fill in the most surprising off the grid methods - raising all of these vibes to the level of becoming ultimate "prepper's vroomers"! Just like the blessing of jack plug vibes, able to be plugged into the engine of the Solar Bullet and run on it like a dream, USB toys can be charged/run with the power of the Sun as well!
The most obvious methods are:
1. charging your laptop with a solar laptop charger, then using it to charge your USB vibes
2. using a solar charged emergency radio to charge USB items, your lovely vroomers for example
3. using a solar cell phone charger, hooking it up to the Mini Magic Wand's universal adapter to charge your USB vibes
4. and of course you can always have solar power set up in your home, using it to have AC/DC power for any of your rechargeable pleasure toys
5. and one more method just to include it: using a solar battery charger for your battery-run vibes
Everything mentioned here can be obtained for a surprisingly affordable price nowadays (just look it up, you will be totally mind-blown!), as only the size is what makes the difference - for example the larger the solar charger is, or the more capacity of solar power battery you want to obtain, the more expensive it is.
This means that even with a solar laptop charger grabbed for 5 bucks you will be able to enjoy all the vrooms of your desire even in the middle of frackin' nowhere!!! And as more and more people realize nowadays that the future doesn't always look so sunshiny, because of the awful looking economy and political system, and just in general, it is always smarter to be prepared for the worst, hoping for the best, it becomes more and more common to get set up to a way of life in which you aren't particularly able to rely on the grid, currency and social safety.
And even if you just gesture a "meh, but nothing will ever happen", it is still an incredibly handy thing to be able to take your precious pleasure vroomers anywhere, for camping or to places where you don't have the means to plug anything into a wall outlet, even if it means that you just hook something up in your running car with its charging hole or USB port for a healthy fill!
THATTTTTT'S why it is an AMAZING experience to own USB vroomers (and the Solar Bullet of course!), always knowing that no matter what happens, only with a few little gadgets around you will be able to enjoy your cherished beloved precious toys, wherever you go, whenever you are in desire! And thatttttt's why Precious Metal Jewels the Princess, the VERY FIRST WIDELY AVAILABLE USB RABBIT VIBE is such a FANTASTIC vibe to encourage more enthusiasm about creating more USB toys!!!
Hellllll yessssss you bet I couldn't miss out on this one of a kind loveliness, and I am most excited to see more and more USB pleasure toys stepping out into the sunshine of our love!!!
"I've been waiting so long
To be where I'm going
In the sunshine of your looo-o-o-o-ooo-o-o-o-ooove!"
Though, like mentioned before, the rotations are far from what my flesh prefers, and the pliability of the shaft without any significant curves of bulginess doesn't seem to provide any special G-spot stimulation, the uniqueness of the powering aaaaaand the WONDERFUL NUBS are enough reason for me to be TOTALLY CRAZY for this comfortable, adorable loveliness! Not to mention that I seem to be quite talented when it comes to maneuvering the toys of this size around to hit the craving spots good enough, and the noise level doesn't mean a problem for me because of living only with my Only MostDelicious PreciousMaster, not having to worry about enjoying my precious items of delight.
All in all I am MIGHTY SATISFIED with this AMAZING INVENTION, and though I still think that the rotation angle could be just a little better, there is really nothing I dislike in this very first, TRULY FANTASTIC USB rabbit vibe!
Now comes the usual blah-blah: I HIGHLY recommend it to everybody who is as crazy for "prepper's vroomers" as I am, as there is no other rabbit vibe in this world (or at least on EF) what has USB powering AND the always beloved features of a real rabbit pleaser! I wouldn't mind it even if I had to spend eight times the points on it, and for money, well, sure, I would have grabbed one as soon as possible too!!!
SO AMAZING, SO DELIGHTFUL, A MUST-HAVE FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE SURE ABOUT HAVING A TRUE RABBIT VROOMER WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THIS WORLD!!! As it will serve you hopefully for years and years and years, unless you meet a horrible natural or man-made disaster where you wouldn't survive anyway! Hoping not to have such a thing ever happen, this sounds more than wonderful to you, dear off the grid pleasure toy lovers, doesn't it? Of course it does! USB RABBIT POWER FOR ALL THE LADIES OF THIS WORLD!!! RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!!
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