Goddess platinum massager - g-spot vibrator by Cal Exotics - review by Femme Mystique

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Not Quite an "Oh My Goddess"

While being an economical eco-friendly vibrator is enticing, the lack of variety in the vibrations and the ineffective design make this vibrator second-rate.
Rechargeable, nice g-spot curve, easy to clean plastic
Loud, plastic loop reduces insertable length, does not hold a charge long
Rating by reviewer:
useful review
The Goddess Platinum Massager by California is a bite-sized hard plastic massager from California Exotic. She lured me in with her feminine wiles of being rechargeable, with that delicate G spot caressing curve, and her petite size that whispered the sweet nothings of a toy I could travel with.

Oh, I couldn't resist.

Don't be fooled by her charms, though--the Goddess is a bit of a tease. She measures 5" long and claims 4" insertable, but there is a plastic loop on the bottom of the insertable part, which makes her more like 3 1/2" insertable. The shape of the vibrator did not disappoint--it worked decently enough for me for internal stimulation. I suspect though that most will be frustrated by the shortness of this vibrator. If only that plastic loop were not in the way...

Which brings me to my next point--what the heck is that? A wrist strap, really? Like a camera? The wrist strap, I might add, is unrealistically small. I have very small hands and wrists and it's a tight squeeze for me. I imagine that even if someone did want to use the wrist strap, it would not work for the majority of people.

The Goddess also boasts to have seven different vibrating functions. These are, as I will affectionately name them:

1. Buzz - Medium intensity, straight vibrations.
2. Machine Gun - Quick pulses.
3. Army Mission - Quicker pulses, accelerating vibrations.
4. Alarm Clock - Slow pulses that gradually get faster.
5. Yawn - Constant vibration that gradually weakens.
6. Fanfare - Three short pulses then a longer one, gradually quickening
7. Grand Finale - Quick pulses, then straight vibrations.

This is certainly not the worst set of functions I've seen in a multi-function vibrator, but I believe that the manufacturer could have appealed to a wider audience with multiple speeds rather than multiple functions. He first function, the straight vibration, was decently pleasing for purposes of external stimulation, though some may not find the vibrations strong enough.

Let's talk about noise, too. Noise is kind of a staple of hard plastic vibrators, it's something you come to expect. You wouldn't expect a package this small to be as loud as it is, though. For that reason, my dear Goddess, I don't think we'll ever be travel partners.

Overall, this vibrator was pretty mediocre. I still enjoy the fact that this vibrator can be recharged, but that cannot make up for the serious design flaws. Oh, Goddess, I had so much hope for you.
Because it is made of plastic, this vibrator can be used with either water or silicone based lubricants. Please note though that this vibrator should not be used for anal penetration. It lacks a proper flange and could get lost in your rectum.

Another important thing to note is that you can't use this vibrator while it is plugged into the charger. If you place the charger tip into the charger port while the vibrator is on, it will immediately shut off. The vibrator also claims to hold a charge for 2 hours. The actual time mine held a charge was about 45 minutes.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Goddess platinum massager tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Busy women
    • Couple foreplay/after climax play
    • Everyone
    • Relaxation/alone time
    • Sexually inexperienced/beginners
    • Teasing a partner
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Home
    • On the road/travel friendly
Do you like this review?
  • Carrie Ann
    That strap is really weird. I've noticed a couple toys with those lately. Maybe for hanging them up if they don't fit the wrist? Odd.

    Nice review!
  • Luscious Lily
    What a shame, it looks like it could have been such a great travel vibe if they had managed to fix those issues. Thanks for the honest review!
  • Naughty Student
    What a short period to hold a charge. How long do you have to charge it anyhow?

    Nice review
  • Epiphora
    I was disappointed by this one too! Did you feel like the vibrations weren't pinpointed? I did.
  • Femme Mystique
    Carrie Ann--
    Hanging up your toys? You make me think of hanging them with clothes pins on a line. How funny.
  • Femme Mystique
    Yes... I too had higher hopes for its travel potential.

    Quite awhile. I think the box said 8 hours. At any rate, awhile. Luckily it comes precharged.
  • Femme Mystique
    Yes, I think I noticed that too. The vibrations were the kind that almost make you itch. I thought I was imagining things.
  • Stinkytofu10
    Thank you for sharing
  • Missmarc
    Thank you for sharing
  • dsumrow1
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