Cleo massager - discreet massager by ONO Pleasure - review by I'll Miss You EF :(

I had high hopes for the Cleo massager. It is specifically targeted for tub-time play. The LED controls are supposed to sky rocket this massager into the future, instead it left me trying to hump a funny shaped object while I sat in the tub.

Cleo is gorgeous. The massager sports a bright-red (or plum, or orange) top coat of 100% body safe silicone. Such a sexy material for sex toys. It is non-porous and very safe to share. This is great when the massager is supposed to reside in the bacteria farm known as the average bath tub.

Cleo's silicone coat is velvety silicone that doesn't collect lint very well, but hey it lives in the tub. No need to worry, turn the water on and the problem is solved.

Under Cleo's over coat the body is plastic caging the motor. The bottom is a suction-cup type plastic(maybe?) material. I don't like it, not one bit!


Cleo arrived without a fragrance, and it still is smell free.

Cleo's design is so futuristic that even I was suckered it. The concept of being able to have a sleek sex toy that is meant to rock-your-world in the tub, then just sit there seemed so wonderful. The promise of being able to rock back and forth to Pleasure Town on the body of Cleo seemed blissful. But alas, too good to be true.

At a whopping 15 inches around, Cleo isn't a small massager. This is about the size of a DVD, or CD. But it runs on only 3 AAA batteries, concealed in the base. It is only about four inches tall minus the suction cup base.

The shape reminds me so much of a horse saddle. Two bulges. Which one is supposed to do what? Hell if I know. I tried rocking against them both with no avail.

This is one big bulky sexual device. It doesn't look very sex toy-ish, so I keep mine under my sink, but if you are in a dorm, there is no way to haul this baby to the shower without looking like you are smuggling a sex toy to the shower.

I would also skip this for someone who lives with their parents, unless they have a private bath, for the same reason.

How in the hell do you use this thing? That was one of my first thoughts. I tried twisting the plastic base like an idiot. With again, no avail. I jumped out of the tub, ran to the laptop, and looked up Cleo on EF.

On the product page, the lovely reviewer Owl Identified informed me that on the "O"'s of ONO on the side of Cleo massager have a + or a - in each one.

So armed with the knowledge to operate this thing, I jumped back into the tub. Click Click on the +. Slight vibrations. Nothing earth shattering. Nothing exciting. Expectations totally NOT met.

I tried holding my clit against the large end, but then it was hard to operate the + or -, because they are located by the small end. That's a major buzz kill.

It is a beauty in the water, except the suction cup. Which doesn't keep you suctioned. It keeps you sliding along the tub, super sexy. Not.

Caring for Cleo is super easy. Throw it into the tub, lather it up with antibacterial soap and she's all clean.

Cleo is compatible with Water, oil, and wax based lubricants, stay away from silicone hybrids unless you spot test, but if you love Cleo, you won't risk it!

I risked it, and it's fine. No gummy silicone, no reactions.

Cleo is pretty easy to store, either keep it in the tub or dry it off and throw it under the sink, bed, or inside of a drawer.

So moving back to the whole "Humping in the tub".

I jumped into the bath with Cleo, the damn suction cup doesn't stay put. If you try to hump the massager, the suction cup will slide forward. BUZZ KILL! The vibrations were hard to find, and using the massager was just overall awkward and unsatisfying.