De la curve

Traditional vibrator by

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Pretty, Blingin', and Oh-so-boring

A picturesque example of a dumb blond: it looks nice, it has a beautiful shape, and seems like a good time; but, once you get to know it, you rather wish you hadn't. Its performance is below par. Don't get excited, ladies, when you switch that controller on and sound comes roaring out! Because, despite all its noise, the vibrations aren't congruent to the amount of sound. Foreplay and clitoral stimulation is hard, if not impossible, to achieve with this.
Published:
Pros:
Pretty, flirty, and almost contemporary. Perfect party or gag gift. Controller easy to figure out.
Cons:
A multifunctional toy. Vibrations are pathetic. Very noisy. Not for beginners.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

First off, I will warn you. This toy isn't for beginners. And though it may seem small compared to some, the bubble at the very tip makes it somewhat difficult, if not painful, to get in. I'll admit, I've only used two other toys previously, so take that as you will with a grain of salt. I'm sure if you're more experienced with larger toys, then this won't be the case. But I personally found it almost impossible to get past the first ridge, let alone the whole thing. Therefore, I can't honestly give you an advanced point of view in that respect. HOWEVER, I will most definitely say that this vibrator has a very limited range of use when it comes to multiple functions. This is strictly for inserting, and in no way can it be used as a clitoral stimulator (which, let's face it, is one of the most important parts of fun time). How can this be, one might ask?

Well, honestly speaking, the vibrations are not that strong, especially considering the ridiculous amount of noise it produces. The middle part of the toy seems to have some amount of gusto; but, all in all, to me it seems weak in powerful vibrations, ESPECIALLY at the tip. (Therefore, clitoral stimulation is inevitably pretty impossible.) You will feel little, if anything, using the tip for anything else other than insertion. Even when this vibrator is used to stimulate other parts of the body, such as breasts, thighs, or any other part, I felt nearly nothing. Therefore, using on partners or even on one's self as foreplay will be a difficult act to get into. At most, in light of its low power, I feel the company should rename this toy and downgrade it to the "lo and behold" title of dildo.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Gag gift
    • Gender play
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • P-spot

Material / Texture

In light of my harsh criticism of its performance, I do give high points for the outward appearance of this almost pretty little piece of art. If standing up on a desk randomly, an ignorant person might not even recognize this toy for what it really is. The jewels on the vibrator are placed and glued carefully just above the twist, which is where the controller of speed is located and where the batteries can be inserted. And, though the jewels have yet to fall off for me, I do wonder if it is used repeatedly whether the jewels would fall off quickly because a person's hand is inevitably placed there during masturbation. The jewels themselves do not look cheap; however, the rainbow-like colors do make it seem a little more fun than expensive.

As for the touch of the object? The material is smooth, yes; but, it is not at all flexible and is rather hard in comparison to some of the other vibrators I've come into contact with. Sometimes toys come with a skin that is not necessarily loose, but is at least a little bit flexible (which personally I prefer because, for me, it seems to feel better if it is not contributing extra stimulation). The De La Curve has no such attributes whatsoever. It's simply rock solid, and its skin is on VERY tight.

On a positive note (and, YES, there are a few positives), the vibrator is extremely discreet. So, if you're planning on traveling, and you're terrified that your little sister might go digging through your bag, then this little guy is your helping (although disabled) hand. I think, in this light, I'd recommend this as a great classy gag gift or bachelor/bachelorette party gift just solely on the pretty design and discreet make of the model.
    • Bumpy
    • No odor
    • Rigid

Design / Shape / Size

As stated previously, I'm not a fan of this toy's design. BUT, I say it again: I am not as experienced as some. I honestly wish I could give the reader of this review a better idea from a more advanced point of view. But, hopefully at least, I can help those who, like me, are easing into insertion and want to know what problems I had with the product as a beginner. So, here it goes:

First off, to me the toy's length wasn't the major problem at all since, compared to some monster-length vibrators, this one is only approximately 5 1/2" (not including the handle area). The thickness was the area I felt was a hard hurdle to cross, particularly the curved outward areas. This doesn't help, added to the fact that the object IMMEDIATELY starts off with one thick bubble-like ridge instead of a pointed tip area at the beginning for ease. In fact, I actually think if this product started with small ridges and, as it got further down, became bigger, it would have made this product a million times better and certainly easier to start with. And since, as stated previously, that foreplay is inevitably impossible to acquire using this toy, extra lubrication is most likely needed - and strongly recommended - before using. So, even though lengthwise this toy should be accurate and a good idea for new explorers, the hard texture and the extremely wide and hugely defined ridges are indeed not something I would ever recommend to a newcomer.

I would like say, however, that advanced buyers will probably enjoy the shape very much since I'm sure that, even without the vibrator on, the shape most definitely will create high friction in your lower regions. Just make sure you're able to handle it first, kiddies!
    • Discreet look/design
    • Whimsical / artistic

Functions / Performance / Controls

I believe that the strongest area where the vibrations are located is in the middle or in the opposite area from where the "tip" is located. The controller is located below the area where the jewels are placed, and it is very simple to use. You simply hold onto the end piece at the bottom and twist where it will stay at whatever level you wish it to be. My one critique about the controller, however, is that, based on the SOUND ALONE, the the noise picks up way faster than I would think a person would like. "But wait? I thought you said the vibrations suck!" you might say? And that's exactly my point: the further you twist the controller, the higher the noise becomes - at an almost ridiculous rate. But, at the same time, the vibrations don't seem to increase along with it. So, one would assume that, at its top speed, a person might feel extreme sensations, right? Noooooo, no, no. In my hand, sure the object vibrated faster with a slow twist. BUT, the end piece for clitoral stimulation will leave you strongly dissatisfied, as all the remotely strong vibrations are located everywhere but the tip. But, to be brutally honest? Even with the amount of vibrations just in my hand, it doesn't feel nearly as high-powered as it should with the amount of extreme noise that comes out of this thing. We're talking about a jackhammer here, people. So don't even dare think about taking this with you while living in a dorm because...more than likely? The neighbors will hear it. And, it's going to get flat-out embarrassing. I seriously jumped when I twisted it full throttle before it growled at me in grouchy return.

The toy is waterproof. I tested it myself, and even put it in the sink full of water and let it run for a while as just a simple test. But what's the fun in using it in the shower if it doesn't make you moan to begin with, right?
    • Easy to use
    • Not very discreet
    • Weak

Care and Maintenance

This toy is relatively easy to take care of. It's pretty straightforward. However, be sure that the twist at the bottom of the toy for the batteries is on really tight - you don't want water to get inside there. And, since the twist for the levels of vibrations is located in that region, just be sure you've twisted the right one. I realize this is obvious if you twisted the controller when it has batteries in it; but, without them, I could see someone getting confused and twisting the wrong one. Therefore, water could easily leak inside.
I would be hesitant to recommend lubes for this product, just as a personal warning. I tried to do so, but the thing about the texture is that the toy is so almost-thin and tight-like that the lube seems to fall off of it a lot quicker, in comparison to other vibrators. So, if you do use lubricant for this product, just be advised that you won't need to use a lot. I applied my normal amount, but ended up feeling all sticky (in a bad way) when the toy got near my lady parts because of the fact that the lubricant seems to slide right off the toy (even more than usual).
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

I thought the packaging was very girly and fun, which is precisely another reason why I feel this would be perfect for a pre-wedding party gift. It's presented in a clear-ish plastic box with the jewel design on the bottom of the toy placed around the packaging. The decorations are pink, purple, and white with a hint of flirty-ness to it. And it's VERY easy to look at the product through the box. There's generally no instructions inside, but that's only because it's basically a no-brainier. I think, in my opinion, the presentation of this product was its best attribute.
    • Good for storage
    • Minimal
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
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Comments
  • P'Gell
    P'Gell  
    Thank you for the review. I hate loud toys!

    Some specifics on what kind of lube is appropriate with the toy and it's materials is always helpful. For slippery toys, placing the lube, instead of on the toy, on your body can help the lube stay in place.

    The Groovies Wavy vibe is a similar vibe that seems to be better in quality.

    You also might want to try the Mentor program to help you write really great reviews.

    Keep on writing.
  • Danielle915
    Danielle915  
    Nice review!!
  • I'll Miss You EF :(
    I'll Miss You EF :(  
    I agree with P'Gell.

    Try the mentor program. It will help you fill out your review a bit. This is an excellent start!
  • barrettbn2
    barrettbn2  
    great review
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