Royal wave - g-spot vibrator by Cal Exotics - review by Medusa

The Royal Wave g-spot vibrator is without a doubt the most disappointing sex toy I have tried. I've had it for less than a week and already the vibration feature has broken and I've managed to get it stuck inside me twice!

The curved tip is pretty typical for toys that promise G-spot stimulation, but rarely are they 2” in diameter! The horizontal circumference of the head is around 6 1/2”. This and the hook-shaped lower wave ensure that once it's lodged inside you, it doesn't escape without a fight!

So there was me, lying in bed, mentally preparing a list of people who'd be less embarrassing to call than my doctor and I couldn't even enjoy the enforced sexy time because the toy didn't do it for me at all.

It is worth noting however that the G-spot has never been my preferred erogenous zone. Before the toy broke, I found placing the tip on my clitoris rather delightful. The soft TPR silicone material is luscious to touch and very gentle against your labia. It's also easy to clean; thus very hygienic.

However, TPR silicone is naturally quite high in friction so if you do choose to insert the Royal Wave vibrator into your majestic tunnel, be sure to use plenty of lubricant; otherwise you'll be lying there trying to think through all your dirtiest fantasies, but instead you’ll just be thinking “get the damn thing out”. And trust me, being forced to masturbate is no where near as much fun as it sounds!

Although this vibrator claims to be waterproof I certainly wouldn't use it in the bath or shower because water washes away the natural lubricants that your body produces. Added to which, if I managed to break mine in bed, I wouldn't trust one in a more rebellious environment.

The Royal Wave does look quite cute, but don't let its innocent pink colour mislead you. This beast is not delicate!

It takes 2 AA batteries which means you can easily buy rechargeables for it or use ones from many other popular sex toys; should your Royal Wave last long enough to need them.

Certainly not up to Eden Fantasys' usual standard. I think I'll go back to my Pure vibes silicone rabbit when I need some vibrator action and perhaps the Sport or the Leo silicone dildo if my G-spot fancies a little attention.

You'd have thought that after this experience and my very negative review, I'd have thrown my Royal Wave away, but for some reason, I did not. Perhaps I'm getting soft. Perhaps the thought of a sex toy with which I'd bonded (albeit briefly) rotting away in a lonely bin, made me think of all the people in the world who aren't getting any, and how sad it would be if we, as people, were discarded after one disastrous shag. After all, bad sex happens to the best of us once in a while.

However, no matter how attached I may feel to my Royal Wave, nothing could possess me to risk putting it inside me once again. Although Adelita had a slightly better experience with hers, she still got it caught around her public bone. No, there are some mistakes you just have to learn from.

And with the vibration function being broken, there really isn't much left for my Royal Wave to do except for act as a doorstop and even then, I have to hide it when most varieties of acquaintance come to visit.

I did however learn one minor piece of information about caring for your Royal Wave, or indeed any other silicone toy. Do not wrap it in newspaper. I did this with many of my toys when I moved house and the news print sticks to the silicone ones and is very difficult to get off again. Trust me, if you fancy a quickie, you will not be happy to find yourself having to remove a layer of black goo before you can get jiggy with it.