Swinging pendulum by California Exotic

It's important, I think, to be able to laugh at ourselves. It's also important to be able to laugh during sex - after all, sex is fun, so why wouldn't it also be funny on occasion? Being able to laugh during sex is a good sign that you're really comfortable with your partner, and isn't that what we're all striving for? Being able to laugh when your sexual partner is yourself, though, is another matter entirely.

The Swinging Pendulum is designed to stimulate three of a woman's most sensitive areas: her clitoris, her g-spot, and her anus. And it does all of those three things. For me at least, though, it wouldn't do all three at the same time. Let me paint a picture for you:

I started out lying on my back, legs slightly spread. I liked the insertable portion of the toy, and the vibrations were nice and strong, but something didn't quite seem to fit. I pulled my legs back to my chest and wiggled around a little, trying to get the "tail" of the toy to press against my tail. No luck. It pressed instead against my perineum (which is that little spot between a woman's vagina and her anus), and not in a pleasant way.

I scooted off the bed onto the floor and tried it kneeling, but that didn't work. I leaned over the edge of the bed, to no avail. On my hands and knees on the floor, griping the controller in one hand and holding on to the toy with the other, I finally faced reality: this toy was not made with my anatomy in mind. There I was, crouched on the floor, trying in my most serious, determined, businesslike fashion to get this toy to work the way I wanted it to - yeah, suddenly I felt a little silly. I collapsed laughing into a heap on the floor. At least now I know I have no problem laughing during sex with my most frequent and consistent sexual partner - me.

I've used the toy since, and it does its basic job, but still no anal action. I always thought my nether anatomy was pretty standard, but apparently there is more space between my vagina and my butt than the creators of this toy anticipated. It does have a velvety finish, and the clit and g-spot stimulators were some of the best I've seen on an inexpensive toy. But since it's made of hard plastic it won't bend to accommodate your anatomy, so if anal stimulation is your main objective this probably isn't the toy for you.