This rocket failed to lift off

This cheap bullet-style "rocket" failed to launch. If you like your toys small, buzzy, and on the lower end of the power scale, go for it, but for me this thing was a tease.
Published:
Pros:
Nice controller
Interesting design
Can be inserted
Cons:
Too weak
Too buzzy
Beware of wire pulling
A little annoying to clean but no actual texture
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

The Rocket Bullet is a seven speed "bullet" style vibrator, but instead of a normal bullet, it has this interesting larger "rocket" shaped vibrating piece. It can be used for external stimulation or be used internally. There is a wider point toward then end of the toy than just before it, but since it is not wider than the widest point at the head of the toy, I do not consider it adequately flared for anal use. As tempting as this is, I don't recommend sticking it in your bum, as that path leads to disaster and awkward hospital visits.
Otherwise, I find it is used best externally or inserted most of the way in. The box does say that it is waterproof, and there is a ring of unknown material around the area where the wire goes into the body of the rocket, so it should be safe if it slips in, but I wouldn't submerge the toy, just to be safe.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Solo
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris

Material / Texture

According to the packaging, the toy is made of ABS material, which Eden classifies as a plastic with a safety rating of 8. If feels smooth and inflexible, though not as hard as glass or metal might feel. When I opened the rocket bullet, there was no smell or taste that I could detect. The toy does appear to have a slightly ribbed texture down the body of the bullet, but the texture is so slight that it can be barely felt. Unless you are extremely texture sensitive, don't consider it a stimulating selling point of the toy. Also, the toy comes in a metallic gold or silver, and while it hasn't happened to me yet, I would be wary of discoloration or dulling of the surface texture due to the cheapness of the material.
    • No odor
    • Rigid
    • Not porous at all

Design / Shape / Size

The toy is a slender, straight vibe attached at the smaller end to a wire which is connected to a controller. The overall shape of the toy actually reminds me of a traditional vibe, except that the larger end is a slightly pointed bulb and the narrower end is the one connected to the power. Its slightly ribbed texture is due to one-sixteenth of an inch deep indents every centimeter (or two-fifths of an inch) down the toy after the first inch of the slightly wider and more bulbous head. These 'ribs' get smaller towards the base from four inches in circumference to three and one-quarter inches, where the last one flares slightly out at three and one-half inches. It's small enough to be comfortably inserted, and should be good for beginner users or advanced users looking for a unique looking novelty.
It's not a very discreet toy as even the controller has the silhouette of a woman on it, and while it's not large it's not very small either, so it's not the best pick for travel.
    • Beginner
    • Futuristic

Functions / Performance / Controls

The vibrator is attached to a controller that has a dedicated on/off button and another button that runs through the seven functions, located primarily at the head of the toy. The first three vibrational functions are the standard low, medium, and high. The next one is a slower speed repeating escalation and drop, followed by two pulsing patterns (the later of the two being the faster pulse) and ending with what appears to be the "high" setting from earlier on. The patterns are all visible in the strength of the little red light above the buttons. However, the vibrations are felt mostly on the surface of contact and are very buzz-y; they aren't at all penetrating or rumble-y.
The toy is noisier than I expected, and you would need loud background music or noise during use because it is clearly audible through covers. Depending on your wall and/or door thickness, and the distance between this and your bed, it might be heard even through said door on the high setting.
    • Multiple settings
    • Not discreet at all

Care and Maintenance

Since it is a plastic toy, it can be used with water, oil, and silicone based lubes. It should be cleaned with antibacterial soap and water, or wiped down with isopropyl alcohol. It's a little annoying for a germaphobe like me to clean it, since the toy's "texture" makes me worry that there might be something stuck in one of those little indents, but cleaning is made easier with a soft-bristled brush. Since the plastic is not reactive or easily I keep it stored in a clear plastic bag with the batteries removed, next to some other plastic toys. I do make sure that the wire is wound up so that I'm not worried about it snagging, since bullet-type toys are prone to being broken via pulled wire.
    • Easy to clean

Packaging

The toy was packaged in a box that isn't very discreet. The toy's name and function are very obvious, and there is the silhouette of a woman implied by her underwear on the back and front of the box, although nothing explicit is shown. The toy is in a molded plastic insert that isn't convenient for storing the toy since the wire between the controller and the toy is placed behind the controller in such a way that it is very difficult to make it fit back in the box without bumps or worrying about the protection of said wire. On the plus side it is recyclable.
    • Not discreet
    • Not good for storage
    • Recyclable

Experience

I had high hopes for this toy since it looked like it was a decently powered, moderately textured, and overall intriguing vibrator. However, I found the toy slightly too small, too buzzy, and too weak. The vibration is really more of a 2.5 than a 3, but I'm guessing it is probably strong enough for most people so I'm rounding up. With the already too-weak-for-me vibrations at the head of the toy feeling even weaker down the toy, the narrowing end, and lack of texture, this toy is a tease. Also the worry I feel about making sure the indents are clean is not worth the total lack of stimulation I get from the 'texture', which is really not a fair trade off. If I'd actually paid for it instead of getting it as a free gift, I would probably regret the purchase. But then again I'm on the fast track to becoming a power queen and need a certain amount of girth and texture on my insert-able toys, so it might work for you. It is technically a safe to insert bullet, which isn't something I've seen very much, so it has that going for it.
    • Buzzy
    • Tease
Follow-up commentary
I haven't found myself reaching for this toy at all since having reviewed it. It's not really strong or interesting enough to be in my normal rotation, and any payoff from use isn't worth the annoyance of cleaning it. If I hadn't gotten it for free, I'd probably regret the purchase; all it does right now is take up space in my toy bag.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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This review was edited by
  • js250 js250
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Comments
  • js250
    js250  
    Great review--Congratulations on graduating!!
  • pizzahut
    pizzahut  
    Great review
  • ArmyWife4311
    ArmyWife4311  
    Great review. Thank you for sharing!
  • Faust
    Faust  
    nice review
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