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Xtreme pack penis bullet sex toy review

Don't be fooled by the Xtreme Pack Penis Bullet's promises of multi-functionality. Either it malfunctions, or all the vibration modes just do pretty much the same thing: not get you off.
Published:
Pros:
None.
Cons:
Shoddy construction; doesn't come close to hitting the right spot.
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review
I’ve never quite found the perfect anal vibrator|Exceptional collection of vibrating anal sex toys. My biggest problem has been finding one that gets the right kind of motion that my prostate craves. The ones I have tried, though decent, usually just did the normal kind of vibration (with varying intensity) and didn’t quite transmit it to the exact spot I wanted.

So I was intrigued when I found the Xtreme Penis Pack Bullet|Bullet vibrator: Xtreme pack penis bullet listed in the anal vibrators section and saw that it promised “5 Xtreme Speeds” and “7 Xtreme Functions” (on the slightly tacky side, it also promised “Xtreme Lights”). It didn’t list what those functions were, but I figured that surely one of them would tickle my fancy (if you know what I mean).

When it arrived, I perused the box to figure out more on these mysterious extreme… sorry, Xtreme functions, but it gave no clue. I looked at the instructions sheet that came inside, but it mostly just told me the proper way to insert batteries in six different languages. I guess it might have come in handy if you’re Portuguese… that and if you’re new to this whole electricity concept. That task completed, I just experimented with the buttons to see what the toy did.

Pressed the on button. Lights (seemingly indicating what mode and speed you were on) lit up, and the little egg vibrated nicely, albeit somewhat loudly, in an on-again off-again pattern. Interesting, I thought.

I pushed the button that seemed to indicate the next mode, as I hunted for a pen to catalog them. Turns out I didn’t need it though; the next mode was almost exactly the same, although it did sound a little different (oddly enough). As was the next mode, and the next.

Thinking that maybe the buttons were put on the wrong wires, I tried cycling through the speeds. No change there either; both the pattern and the intensity of the vibrations remained stubbornly constant. The “Made in China” disclaimer at the bottom of the box had never seemed more appropriate.

Oh and those Xtreme Lights? They never varied either. I was stuck on speed one, function one. Sigh.

Well, at least it did something. Intrepid reviewer that I am, I decided to push forward and see if the toy, reduced by 96% of its promised functionality, was of any use. I bravely (I say this because, given the quality of construction, who knows if the wire would break when I would try to pull it out?) inserted the egg into my butt and turned it on.

Not even close, I’m afraid to say. I pulled it out (thankfully without incident) and promptly chucked the thing. Although, thanks to the instruction sheet, I was able to retrieve my two batteries first.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Dragon
    Dragon  
    LOL.  Ok thats a funny review for what appears to be a bad product!  (I hate having to write those!)
  • Jimbo Jones
    Jimbo Jones  
    Yeah, I'm with you. I've never been comforatble with putting a bullet inside my ass. Always worried about that wire pulling out without the bullet. Glad you didn't have that problem.

    Nice review and welcome!
  • Always Aroused Girl
    Always Aroused Girl  
    Ugh, I'd really worry about putting a bullet in my ass. I've pulled out enough bullet vibe wires that I know how fragile they can be.
  • Epiphora
    both the pattern and the intensity of the vibrations remained stubbornly constant. That's definitely not supposed to happen! I have the [../../vibrators/bullet-egg-vibrators/xtreme-g-spot-bullet|Xtreme pack g-spot bullet], and it definitely has those five speeds and seven functions that this one promises. I have had no problems with it -- in fact, I LOVE it. (I do like the lights, too!)
  • Panther
    Panther  
    I think you might just have gotten a shoddy model, because I have the Xtreme pack g-spot bullet, and I love it.  All the functions and speeds work perfectly, and I like to use it on both my pussy (feels great when it's lubed and against my clit) and also in my ass.  Also, it's relatively quiet - I can hear only the faintest of hums underneath my sheets.  I recommend asking for a replacement and seeing if you have any luck with that!
  • Sleeping Dreamer
    Sleeping Dreamer  
    I would NEVER put this in my ass, bullet wires are too fragile and if they broke and this was lost inside.. my lawd!
  • Kdlips
    Kdlips  
    Great review!
  • angel142stx
    angel142stx  
    Thanks for the review
  • Caprieclipse
    Caprieclipse  
    thanks for the review, i have this bullet and am not a big fan of it.
  • Blooddragon
    Blooddragon  
    TY!
  • pinkzombie
    pinkzombie  
    Nice review!
  • Jon S
    Jon S  
    ty for the review
  • emilia
    emilia  
    thanks
  • lzee
    lzee  
    Good review!
  • Undead
    Undead  
    Thanks for the review!
  • ryse
    ryse  
    thanks for the review
  • ginainohio
    ginainohio  
    thanks for the review
  • Michelle Conner
    Michelle Conner  
    nice review
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