The Bloggess "Strange Shit People Sent Me" Semi-Music Video Awards

Okay, so we get this frantic email from Jenny she’s “indisposed” for a few days, and “Would we, could we, pretty please, excuse her this week?”

All right, so she never actually said, “indisposed.” It was more like something out of a Lifetime Channel road-trip chick-flick where our gutsy heroine has an epiphany and suddenly needs to “find herself,” so she drops everything, hops into her beat up jalopy and hits the road in search of deeper meaning—and greasy truck stop fries.

While we reminded her that sometimes these things don’t end well (Thelma and Louise, anyone?) she assured us that a strapping young Brad Pitt lookalike was the last thing on her mind. Not that we believe her, of course, but hey, sometimes you have to go with the flow. We all have our "my dog ate my homework" days.

Which reminded us of a video someone just sent us of a dog eating some homework. Because people are always sending stuff like that. And dolphin porn.

And that’s when we came up with the idea for "The Strange Shit People Sent Me" Semi-Music Video Awards, culled from the bizarre and most wonderfully disturbing videos fans have gifted Jenny with since her stellar SexIs debut.

So here, in no particular order, are the prizewinning entries for the following catagories:

Best Performance by Family Jewels

Best Supporting Role by a Johnson

Best Special Effects… or Foreign Film?

Best Costuming… or Foreign Film?

Best Alien Choreography (and yeah, possibly Foreign Film...)

Best Animated Meat Short

Best Performance by a Condiment

Best Musical Score by a Japanese Man in a Pink Ruffled Skirt

And what award show would be complete without…

The Best Handjob Ever!

(Tune in next week for your regularly scheduled programming. Come back, Jenny! We miss you!)