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Titles for elderly porn movies that should never be made.

Titles for elderly porn movies that should never be made. The Author, with Hugh Hefner, at an undisclosed location
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Once again I’ve managed to write my sex column by crowd-sourcing on Twitter. Mainly because the people on Twitter are far more creative and/or mentally disturbed than I am. This week their twisted minds came up with alternate titles for porn films for the elderly. It’s both awesome and terrifying. Much like most non-elderly porn, now that I think about it.

Let’s begin, shall we?

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Comments

Jill Himitsu  

Dear Jenny,
I just wanted to write you to express my deep concern about your proximity to dear Hugh Hefner. You do know that there have been outbreaks of illness at the Playboy mansion recently, do you not? We all love you so much, we would never want to see you struck down by any of these horrible parasites/illnesses/STD's that might be plaguing The Mansion.

Here, have some hand sanitizer. And for God's sake, remember to cover the seat in toilet paper before you pee there. You never know where those butts have been....

LOVE!
Jill

02/17/2011

Always funny, Bloggess! Love your writing!

02/17/2011

What, no lemon party reference?

Great titles. Well done!

02/18/2011

that's hilarious ))

02/18/2011
RockingJamboree  

Funny. But shouldn't you give credit to the people who came up with these titles? Just because it's on twitter, that doesn't make it all public domain, for anyone to just claim as their own and use without citation, does it?

02/19/2011

The first time I used twitter to crowd-source an article I wanted to link to all the original posts but I quickly realized that when a topic gets massive enough that it becomes a trending topic (like this one did) and there are thousands of people tweeting and retweeting without attribution you see the same thing written hundreds of times by different people and it's pretty much impossible to know who started it and who's really responsible for each one. For instance, "Debbie Does Dialysis" was offered up by 5 different people and even now if you look under "seniorporntitles" there have been two more people who've listed it since I turned in this article. That's why I just attribute it all to twitter. That way people know that I'm not taking credit for it and if they want to claim that they came up with it they can without getting mad at me that I attributed it to someone else who might have come up with the same title by accident or copied them.

02/19/2011
Elle Thisismommyhood  

This is so funny. I have to send this post to my mom, she'll love it!

02/20/2011

Too funny! Made my morning, thanks for the good

02/22/2011

lol good laugh

02/25/2011

Cant stop laughing Great article

03/04/2011
hspence  

funny stuff!

04/19/2011

Freaking HILARIOUS. Had me cracking up had to share it with everyone. Great Read.

10/17/2011

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Interviews with The Bloggess

  • Most people know Jenny as The Bloggess, a prolific writer with a sense of humor and style that many are scrambling to imitate. How does a woman who hides in the bathroom at most blogger conferences and muses on clown porn get to be an online sensation?

    Jenny is a columnist, blogger, mom and comedian. Her personal blog, [http://thebloggess.com/|thebloggess.com], is extremely popular and has developed a cult following, according to Marie Claire Magazine. She’s been a regular contributor to the online Houston Chronicle since 2006 and also writes a popular advice column for PNN and a satirical sex column for [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/columns/the-bloggess/|SexIs Magazine]. Jenny has been the keynote speaker at major conferences, as well as featured on countless sites including Salon.com and MSNBC; and Gawker once referred to her as an "interesting psycho". She prefers the term "creative visionary". Jenny suggests you ask her about how she gets her hair so shiny, or what’s wrong with her. But we know that’s a wig, and there’s nothing wrong with Jenny – she created a pitch perfect style that grabs readers, and keeps them. Whether inadvertently mobilizing the Bloggess Army, going to [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/bloggess-does-japan4-110691/|Japan] on a sex culture / geisha mission of sorts, interviewing [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/bloggess-nina-hartley-best-friend-0204101/|porn stars], giving sex advice, or relating the hilarious arguments she has with [http://thebloggess.com/?p=5168|her husband], The Bloggess has us hooked. Join us in learning more about this unpredictable funny lady.

     Read full interview

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