But then I’d need stamps. Ugh. THIS IS WHY NO ONE EVER SENDS OUT THANK-YOU-RESTRAINING ORDERS.
Regardless, this month we had some doozies.
Let’s get started, shall we?
1. Christmas Carols. Just … not the kind you’re used to.
2. Fake ballsack . Cancer included! (The reviews here make this whole link even more awesome.)
3. Santa Bear-otic . It’s pretty much what it sounds like.
4. It’s like they bred a sheep and a sex toy to make a really horrible unicorn .
5. Woody from Toy Story: Possible sex addict.
6. NSFW if you’re a dinosaur.
7. Yep. That’s Uhuru. Totally workin’ it.
8. Prince commissions life-sized statues of himself having sex. Sadly, it was not Purple-Rain Prince. I checked.
9. Dildo shoe. This looks like it would be uncomfortable in so many ways.
10. Realistic Hollywood sex scene. Sort of.