October 01, 2009

The Bloggess: Top 10 Fucked-Up Links People Sent Me This Month

by The Bloggess

There’s nothing terribly NSFW here but you should probably wait until you get home so you aren’t tempted to show it to your coworkers because they’re totally going to judge you.

Top 10 Fucked-Up Links People Sent Me This Month

1. The first time you watch this video you’re going to be too freaked out to enjoy it. The second time you’ll bring in all your coworkers to explain it to you but they won’t get it either. Then you’ll probably get fired. Then you’ll go home and watch it again. You still won’t understand it.

2. Masturbation is the new 20 dollar bill. “Oh, I forgot my credit card to pay for all these groceries. Do you take masturbation? No? Why are you calling security?”

3. Man + panties = MANties. And this is why I hate math.

4. Accidental Dong: That may or may not be a huge boner.

5. Text-o-Possum: Relax. It’s just a bluetooth laser virtual keyboard. Projected out of what appears to be the vagina of a stuffed possum. It’s called “technology”.

6. Dead chipmunks. Who are also topless dancers. Someone had a lot of time on their hands.

7. Painting of Obama, semi-nude, with magical unicorns. It’s…pretty much exactly what it says it is.

8. Um…what?

9. Donkey Punch…the totally serious movie.

10. Photo-shopped porn that makes it completely safe for work and also extremely un-useful.

The end.

Now go take a shower. You’ve earned it.