On the beach
Pros: Seems romantic. There’s a drink named after it. Good place to clean up afterward.
Cons: Everyone else has cleaned up there, too. That’s where fish pee. Crabs. Two words: Vagina sand.
Under a tree
Pros: Fresh air. Romantic. No tan lines. Great place to role-play that werewolf fantasy.
Cons: Bird voyeurs. Actual werewolves.
In your childhood bedroom
Pros: The thrill of getting caught.
Cons: Actually getting caught. By the new owners. Who will charge you with trespassing. After they shoot you.
Pros: You feel skinny because you’re weightless. No one can hear you scream.
Cons: The wet-spot is everywhere.
On the kitchen floor
Pros: I have no idea, but it’s in almost every porno I’ve ever seen so there must be one.
Pros: Everyone will see it (Including that hot guy you’ve been trying to seduce at the gym).
Cons: Everyone will see it (Including your mother).
In an active volcano:
Pros: You’ll both laugh about “how hot this is” and double entendres are fun.
Cons: You’ll die painfully.