The Top 10 Strangest Things People Sent Me Last Month:

1. These guys are really excited about fashion.

2. No, you can’t have a bracelet for your penis. You will lose it in her vagina. No one needs this.

3. I don’t even know where to start with this. Why are there two cameras? Who is shooting this? Why can’t I stop watching this?!

4. Mime porn. It’s um…safe for work… ish?

5. I thought it was a sex toy.Turns out I have no idea what it is. Neither do the reviewers.

6. The two most improbable words ever put together: Haunted. Scrotum.

7. Oh, wait. No. I take it back: Vagina. Kazoo.

8. Make-up for your labia. Finally.

9. “Frigid Farrah”. For when you want to pay $9,000 for a robot who won’t have sex with you either.

10. Unicorn penis. It’s kind of the opposite of “magical”.