When I first noticed that #NicknamesForBreasts was trending I shuddered at the horror no doubt looming before me, and yes, some of the nicknames were misogynistic and demeaning, but most were sort of awesome, many were written by women themselves. Let’s explore, shall we?

Nicknames for Breasts, according to Twitter...

The old stand-bys:
Knockers
The girls
Bazooms
Ta-tas
Love muffins
Lady lumps
Knockers
Headlights (High Beams when it's cold out)
Jubblies
Twin Peaks
Boobs

Fun to say:
Chesticles
Breasticles
Testicles (?)
Breastasists
Chee chees
Jiggilypuffs
Tatty Bojangles
Yabos

A bit baffling:
Quaffles
Smilkies
Stretch Armstrong and The Old Spinnarooni
Nippleopians
Huey, Dewey, and Louie
Ruby Tuesdays
Millie and Mollie. (Well, that's what my gran calls hers anyway)
Jugasaurus Rex
Chest Balls
I call the left one Squishy and the right one Bubbles
My poncho boys
The hills have eyes ( o )( o )
Top Bollocks

Ew:
Flesh balloons
Milk Shakes
Snack Trays
Shirt Meat
Milk Duds
Flesh Melons
Chest nuts
Jolly Ranchers

Weirdly poetic:
The mountains that lead to the ocean
The fleshy curses of Imhotep
Heavenly Globes
Devil’s Dumplings
Elusive heaven marshmallows
The wheels of milk
Nourishment fountains
The Thunderous Glamazons

Adorable:
Sweater puppies
Sweater kittens
Sweater boobies
Sweater muffins
Sugar Lumps
The Twins
Dirty pillows

Kind of brilliant:
The Golden Girls
The Moons of Endor
Michael and Tito
Miss Lolo and Revenge
Peaches n cream
Bert and Ernie
Frick and Frack
License & Registration
Tia and Tamera (because one of them has a little mole)
Big dipper, lil dipper (because one is smaller than the other)
Biggie Smalls (see above)
San Onofre nuclear station
Thelma and Louise (because those girls are always in trouble)
Law & Order
Timon and Pumbaa
Starsky and Hutch
Hannity & Colmes
Ground Control and Major Tom
Mary Kate and Ashley
PATTY AND SELMA, BECAUSE THEY’RE ALWAYS SMOKIN’
Optimus Prime and Megatron
The Kilimanjaro Sisters
The Wonder Twins
Thing 1 & Thing 2
Tango & Cash
Jason and Freddy
Zack –n- Cody
Laverne & Shirley
Helga and her twin sister Helga (because I can’t tell them apart)
The Pointer Sisters
Caliente and Picante
Betty and Veronica
My left one is called Damon, the other one Klaus
The Avengers
Pinky and Perky
Thunder and Lightning
Gen. George S. Patton (R) and The Right Honourable Sir Winston Churchill (L)
Mr. Big (I only have one after a mastectomy, but it’s GLORIOUS.)
Smokey and the Bandit

Awesome.