Boris Simic, in Louisville, Ky., is mad at his father. He's so mad, he hit the highway on foot, without a shirt, in a rainstorm, to walk the 11 miles to Prospect and beat the hell out of dear old dad.

But Boris didn’t walk in what anyone would consider a safe manner, according to a police report. He walked in the path of the cars! And when a concerned police officer swooped in to save the day, Boris was having none of that. He politely suggested the officer have his way with himself. Or not so politely, as the case may be.

The officer asked Boris why he was so upset, and Boris explained the reason he wants to kick his dad's ass. Apparently, dad's not interested in having sex with mom. How Boris knows this, or why he cares, is anyone's guess. But the arrest report says Boris appeared to be under the influence of drugs, so we expect he feels kinda silly by now. He was charged with second degree disorderly conduct.