I swear to God I’m not making this up. It doesn’t faze me anymore because I’m so used to it, but I was thinking that probably to a normal person this would seem fucking insane. And it is. But it’s also awesome and probably should be shared. Case in point? The email I just got from this random dude.
Subject line: Dictator Porn.
Dear The Bloggess,
I'm just going to skip formalities and dive right into my story.
So I was at work like 2 months ago, and I was standing around sweeping, and I started to think about what a Hitler porno would be called. And then I was all like, "Duh! Mein Kakp: An Erotic Retelling of Der Fuhrer's Life."
And so I texted that to my friend, and he didn't reply, so I sent him another one saying, "A Communist Man-You-Fuck-So-Good: The Erotic Tales of Karl Marx. (This book features a chapter/3some with Mein Kakp)."
And finally he replied and said, "Um... What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"What?” I replied, "Your place of business doesn't make you think of fascist dicks?"
I'm pretty sure I won that argument. Anyway here's all the 20 or so titles I thought up. You can do whatever you'd like with them.
A Cubano Dongo: How Castro Straight Ass Fucked Cuba
Iraq In The Sack: The True Exploits of Saddam Hussein
Buttnito Mussolini: An Alternate View of World War Two... An All ASS view
Kim Jong Feel Me Cum: A Look Into Nut Korea
Idi Aminstral Cycle: So... Can I At Least Get A Blowjob?
Idi Aminher: In Her? I Barely Know Her. But It Doesn't Matter, I'm A Fucking Dictator. I Can Have Sex With Anyone I Want.
Stalin': How Erectile Dysfunction Almost Brought Down The Allies (A Fetish Novel). Apparently my friends didn't get this one... His penis 'stalled' a.k.a., he has erectile dysfunction.
Leninandout: 500 pages of pure, awesome, badass thrusting descriptions
Ba'll Rock Yourmomma: How Socialists Are Fucking America.
Benjamin Fuckland: The Founding Father's Revolutionary Ideas.
Thomas Effyouson: Though He Drafted The Constitution, No Pen Was Mightier Than HIS Sword.
George Watchington: A Voyeuristic Tour Of The Revolutionary War.
Benedick Arnold: Betraying His Country... And Sexuality?
George W. Bush: The Landscape of The Seventies. A Coffeetable Book
Anywho, enjoy. Also, if you post any of these up, please don't mention my name or email.
Signed (name removed)
Never stop, crazy people. Never, ever stop.