Once again I’m flooded with emails from friends and strangers sending me pictures of zombie penises and dead squirrels having sex. This has become my new normal, ya’ll.
Top 10 strangest things people sent me this month:
1. Harry Potter and the X-Rated Trailer
2. Amorous squirrel taxidermy. On a plinth. Really? Nobody has questions about this?
3. Ancient wall dildo. Oh, archeology. You’ve outdone yourself this time.
4. I’m assuming the ladder is there for scale?
5. ’70s Porn Pillows. They’re…kind of exactly how they sound.
6. Zombie dildo: Two words that should never really be used together.
7. I don’t even know if this is supposed to be sexual or not, but I can’t stop watching it.
8. Corn Vibrator. Almost as bad as the zombie dildo.
9. You know what? Maybe it would be safer if we just avoid vibrators altogether.
10. This isn’t real, right? For the love of God, please someone tell me this isn’t real.
Top 10 strangest things people sent me this month:
1. Harry Potter and the X-Rated Trailer
Harry Potter and the X-Rated Trailer - watch more funny videos
2. Amorous squirrel taxidermy. On a plinth. Really? Nobody has questions about this?
3. Ancient wall dildo. Oh, archeology. You’ve outdone yourself this time.
4. I’m assuming the ladder is there for scale?
5. ’70s Porn Pillows. They’re…kind of exactly how they sound.
6. Zombie dildo: Two words that should never really be used together.
7. I don’t even know if this is supposed to be sexual or not, but I can’t stop watching it.
8. Corn Vibrator. Almost as bad as the zombie dildo.
9. You know what? Maybe it would be safer if we just avoid vibrators altogether.
10. This isn’t real, right? For the love of God, please someone tell me this isn’t real.
1. Harry is a dirty dirty boy. Didn't you know?
5. I had a totally different idea of what dirty pillows were... But I don't think any retro sex den is complete without one of these. Quagmire has the whole collection.
6. *crickets chirping*
7. I errrr... I ummm.... yeah, I got nothing.
8. I think these are mass produced in Iowa and sold at the Des Moines "International" Airport.
10. Thanks... Like I don't have enough nightmares.
Corn vibrator hurts my brain...
And #10, just confused the FUCK out of me.
I uh, wow. Seriously. Wow. I'm voting "not real" on #10, because, otherwise, well... I can't think about it.
That corn dildo; Cue up "Dueling Banjos." (Theme from Deliverance.)
I always wondered about #10. I used to have dreams about it...I'm a freak, I know. I was wondering when they'd make one.
Loved #7. Will now subject all my friends to it.
I loved squirrel on a horse.
Wow. I had no idea that raw bacon would stick to duct tape that well.
ROFL Corn dildo- nutritional facts included. Bwahahahaha
1. Oh, Harry Potter, how you've grown up! Harry Potter IRL, Daniel Radcliffe, is only one month younger than me, so I really did grow up with those kids in a way... It blows my mind how long it's been.
4. That thing is horrifying. Truly. It looks like an entrance to Hell more than a vagina.
7. Ugh, is there SERIOUSLY a zombie dildo market!? I can't believe it...
8. ... You know, I like corn, but not THAT much...
10. Dear God, I HOPE that isn't real... It doesn't seem to be, but you never know...
I died laughing about a dozen times, this is wonderful! As a bio-person that keeps up with current research developments, I can say that #10 is definitely not real. Too bad it isn't, though... if it was, FTM transgender surgery would be far more successful, because they'd be able to grow them a penis to transplant with one of those "organisms".
The latch hook 70's throw pillows... Klassy!
Love Lump. That sums it up except I'd like to add EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Trying not to judge and I'm losing!
if you enjoyed the LoveLump, you might also find this site interesting:
MoneyFucking - The World's Premiere Currency Fetish Site
[https://moneyfucking.com]
enjoy!
ktb.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LoveLump]
But why didn't you find the double one scarier?? That, *THAT* will give me nightmares.
#8 - if you've seen trolls 2, this totally makes sense.
#10 is not real.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LoveLump]
It's a hoax (and I'm glad about that).
Hmm, I briefly considered trying the bacon-kung-fu-thing, but decided against it since I realized I'm a vegetarian and our cats would go crazy and those "skirts" are near parts I'd like to keep crazy cats away from... Also I have to mention that I almost bought a more realistic version of the corn vibrator for my friend, but she preferred a carrot so that's what she got
Oh and I'd love a cthulhu vibrator. Am I really the only one?