For quite some time, I found oral sex rather boring. I knew many people who raved on and on about oral ministrations, and I simply didn't understand why they were enjoying it so much. For the handful of people who went down on me, my response was always, "Meh." And for some time, I didn't understand my own bodily response. I was able to make myself orgasm with my own fingers or theirs. What was so different about a mouth?
It felt too vulnerable and far too much like losing control. I was focusing just on their mouth and nothing else, which just didn't work for me.
Luckily, there are some ways to get around that. In addition, parts of this guide can also be used to simply spice up your oral sex life.
Seven Sexy Scenes for a Better Oral Sex Life:
1. Get really familiar with your vulva. Try using a mirror, camera, or video camera to acquaint yourself with what, exactly, your vulva looks like. Play with yourself in front of a mirror so you can see exactly how your body responds. The more you know about how your body responds to stimulus, the easier it is to properly stimulate- or give directions for your favorite stimulation. I found it easiest to use my computer's iMovie as it also enlarged the image of my vulva.
2. Ask your partner to go down on you for three minutes, and use an egg timer or phone to keep track of time. If at the end of three minutes you're not into it, move on to other activities, but try again the next day. Be clear with your partner that the aim of the game is to explore sensations differently rather than orgasm. I find this game is also great for any experience that one person is interested in, but the other isn't so sure, or for people with mismatched libidos.
3. Try incorporating a blindfold, a gag, and/or restraints, and see how having certain senses clogged changes other sensations. Especially with this type of play, a safe word or motion that you've discussed with your partner beforehand may be prudent. I find blindfolds are especially effective with all of my sensory attention focused on hearing and touch.
4. If possible, incorporate your favorite sex toy into oral sex. Whether it's a butt plug, dildo, vibrator, flogger, candle, or something else, try to have the toy used intermittently or simultaneously while your partner eats you out. Once your partner has the hang of using a toy with their mouth, ask them to try two or more! Also, if you're into analingus, the Sqweel 2 can be used for that while your partner goes down on you. I find the alternate feelings of being eaten out and being flogged compliment each other perfectly.
5. Feel sexy before they start. Do you have a favorite top or nipple clamps that make you feel especially sexy? Or perhaps thigh highs and a garter belt? Maybe even have a sexy photo shoot with your partner beforehand! Just feeling sexy tends to enhance any sexual situations. For this, my favorite is to roleplay characters that necessitate feeling sexy, whether it's a goddess or a stripper.
6. Come close...and switch. Try mutual masturbation, dirty talk, and/or watching porn together but stop any play if you're going to orgasm, and then have your partner go down on you. This one is also a pretty good test. You'll learn pretty quickly if you're uncomfortable with oral sex, or if you just really dislike oral sex. If the former, the switch may be a little unsettling, but since you're already worked up it should feel much more comfortable. If the latter, and the switch completely turns you off, then there's plenty of other play to explore.
7. Relax. The first time I was able to orgasm solely through someone going down on me was brought about by a very calm environment. I was smoking, watching Archer, and being eaten out. Perhaps cocktails before bed, soaking in a tub, or a full body massage may do the trick for you. If you're not anxious, then it's much easier to enjoy oral ministrations.
Naturally, you want to talk to your partner before trying any of these (well, besides the first one) and make sure they're on board. You could even send them this article to open up a dialog! Ask them if they would be willing and wanting to do any of these? Would they especially like you to do any of these to them?