Cheated Out of...

An affair typically consists of a minimum of three people. Generalizing a multitude of factors, basically one person is perpetrating the cheating (the cheater), and two people are being cheated. However, it is my opinion that, based on my observations, ultimately everyone involved is cheated. In some way or another, an affair cheats everyone to some degree or another.

The husband, wife, partner, etc. who is being cheated upon is clearly being wronged -- that much is obvious. Of course, there are always exceptions... Unless the partner is involved in someway with approving the situation (i.e. swingers, a non-monogamous relationship, three-ways, four-ways and many, many, many more ways), the partner is being wronged. Basically, unless your partner is in the know (which might not even be classified as a typical affair), then you are cheating them out of what they deserve. The partner is being cheated of time, attention, devotion, trust, and so on... and that is only the basics.

If love is involved, then they lose the above, as well as the love that they deserve. When you step out of the bonds of love, whether your heart is involved or not, you are cheating the love itself. Love is, in essence, a part of something in and of itself. If you are cheating whilst in love, then you are also cheating on love. Cheating on the idea of love, as well as the connection, and you're minimizing its impact.

Questions arise; Do you really love me? Is the love enough? If you love me like I deserve, why would you cheat? Why would you cheat on me, and why would you cheat yourself out of our love? Is love involved in this affair? If love is involved, who do you love? Is it them or me? Who do you love more, and what do you want? What you want, what you need, and who you love can be separate entities altogether.

You might want to sleep with someone else for so many reasons. Maybe you honestly fell in love with them. Maybe they are the person you are meant to be with, but even if that is the case, it isn't right to begin an affair. End your relationship, get a divorce, a separation, whatever it takes. If you have found someone you love more than the person your with, there are always things to consider, but an affair is not being fair to anyone. If you stay with someone out of obligation, whatever that may be, you will begin to resent them. Staying out of obligation will cheat you and your partner. If you love someone, even if it's just platonic, you deserve to give them a chance at real love. Staying with someone out of obligation leads to a lot of pain, as well as a lot of resentment.

This is not to mention that, if you love this other person, they deserve all of you -- anything else wouldn't be fair. If you can't leave your relationship, then don't cheat them out of someone who can give them everything. If you love any of these people, even if you just love yourself, then commit to one thing and stick with it. You can't pull people in all different directions, as eventually they will break. We all know that affairs can be fatal, so keep that in mind.

If love isn't involved in the affair, then it's not worth it. If it's just sex, is it worth hurting two people? Pulling yourself in all different directions cheats you. Yeah, you might be getting your cake and eating it, too. However, even if you don't get caught, and even if someone doesn't wind up shot (hey, don't knock it, it happens), you're pulling yourself apart.

If you juggle too much, it will all come crashing down. Things might crash down even if you don't think they could; your job could suffer, your finances could and probably will suffer. If all you want is sex, then don't commit to anyone. Just have sex, be a bachelor, and that way no one gets hurt if you tell them going in that all you're looking for is sex. No harm, no foul.

To start an affair is one of the most high risk ways of gambling, and the worst part is you can't win in a game of cheats. Just think about it before you do it. My opinion might not matter, but love can be fatal, and cheaters never prosper. What do you think... if someone cheats, is everyone involved cheated?