After four years with the same man I felt like my sex life was never going to improve. In the beginning sex was new to me and everything was wonderful. We had sex everyday, multiple times a day. After a few months it began to be the same thing everyday so the amount of sex we had started to decrease, at one point we hadn't had sex in six months. I was so beyond frustrated, I came home one day to find my lotion next to the bed along with his iPod touch. I was so furious; he has the time and effort to put out for masturbation but can't sleep with me when I'm right there next to him. I knew something had to be done because we were losing each other quickly. I've found a lot of my friends’ relationships had the same problem and now they aren't even together! Seeing people who love each other so much fall apart because of sex was so saddening to me and I wasn't going to become one of them. After a lot of research and talking to couples about their sex life I found things that worked for me!
I believe that everyone has fantasies that they're afraid to share with others because they believe that the other person will find them strange. Strange sex is not bad! Sharing with your partner things you would like to try or things that really don't work for you is really important. You might not always get the best reaction, but don't get your hopes down, sometimes it just takes people time to think on them by themselves before they're willing to try! I know that I was worried about letting my man know that I really needed to be the dominant one most of the time. I felt like I might be taking his 'man card' away, but surprisingly he was very open after considering it for a few hours. With him being submissive most of the time it makes it so much better when he flips the script and becomes the dominant one for the night. If you can't be open with the person you're being intimate with then there is so much you are missing out on. There should be open communication between the both of you about each others wants and needs. Sex is a two way street you know!
Be willing to give as much as you take.
I'm personally terrible at not giving as much as I'm receiving. It's so easy just to get what you want and forget about returning the favor in the way the other desires. If your partner is willing to try something that you really want to try, then you should be willing to try something they want. Having restrictions is always nice, but if you're not willing to try new things then your sex life will never change! Just because you are happy with how things are doesn't mean the other person is. Being willing to communicate and see when the other is not completely fulfilled. If something makes you uncomfortable make sure to let them know, and keep the communication flowing. I always say you can't know if you dislike something if you aren't willing to try it.
Find new ways to add spice to your sex life.
Little things can go a long way in improving your sex life. Sex coupons that are hand made are my favorite gift to my man. I take things that I know I don't do as much as he'd like and put them in a little package for him, He always feels like he's getting so much more when he pulls out that coupon. Porn is a great way to feel out how you both feel about new things. Watch it together and see how the other person reacts. Costumes and role playing aren't for everyone, but once in awhile if added unexpectedly you get a great reaction! Make a night to just shop online for new sex toys, or even go to a store! When you shop together you both get excited for the new products and it sets the mood for you.
Go have fun!
All in all communication is the key thing. Once you are both open about things you want and don't want it is a lot easier for the other person to meet your needs. Sex can help relieve tension in a relationship, but it can also cause it when both parties aren't getting what they need. Be willing to give without expecting to receive and try new things! You never know what some people are capable of; you just have to give them the chance to show you what they have! If you really love someone don't let boring sex be your down fall, work on it!