In 1972, a movie opened that completely resculptured the landscape of American sex. It was titled Deep Throat, and it really wasn’t particularly good. It was badly acted, badly scripted, badly shot and... really, it was just bad. However, it was also, thanks to a succession of recent changes in America’s indecency laws, the first full-bore porno film ever to make the mainstream movie circuit, and people flocked to see it. Deep Throat wound up rating among the most profitable movies of the year. It was one of the most talked about movies, too, with very little of the talk even mentioning its production values.

It is the story of a young woman, played by the late Linda Lovelace, who visits a doctor (Harry Reams - who, sadly, also passed away earlier this month) about what she considers to be a serious problem. She can only achieve orgasm while giving oral sex. This, in fact, is not unique. It is also not a problem for many women, either. However, Linda was unhappy and Harry was determined to get to the root of her dilemma, which he did by shining a torch down her throat and spotting her clitoris waiting there.

Okay, that is unique.

What follows is probably predictable, though. Linda sets out to have as many orgasms as she can, and she does so by taking sundry penises so deep that, for all intents and purposes, she swallowed them whole.

Lovelace did not invent the technique that was immediately named after the movie. Go back through the hours and hours of stag movies that were shot in this country between the 1900's and the early 1970's, and any number of starlets take a whole penis in. The difference is that they didn’t make a fuss about it, and the act remained unnamed. For those other starlets, it was just something they did while they were doing something else.

If one wants to discuss the aesthetics of fellatio, Lovelace wasn't especially good at it. Those earlier girls, as well as many later ones, were as graceful in their deep throating as they were at the commencement of the act. Eyes closed, faces serene, and maybe that little crinkling of the skin above the bridge of the nose; for them, deep throating as an act of beauty, with the woman looking as beautiful as the act itself.

Not Linda Lovelace. She gagged, she choked, and she pulled ghastly faces. There are moments, as the movie moves along, where she resembles nothing so much as a scraggy tomcat relieving itself of an especially troublesome hairball (in reverse). The first time that I watched Deep Throat, I was with a date who had told me that it was the best porno ever. I spent most of its hour-or-so running time with my eyes averted from the screen, while praying to heaven that I did not look anything like that when I was giving head.

The modern penchant for extreme porno started here, though, with a woman who could only give pleasure by appearing to suffer death by a thousand chicken bones herself.

So, that’s the background and that is why. Beginning around the fall of 1972, every guy who has a girl who agrees to give him head will, at some point, say “ah, now deep throat me.” To which, if she has any sense, she will reply, “I’ve been doing that since we met, you ass. I guess I wasn’t making the right sounds, though. Bleaugh acccckkkk arrrgggh cough splutter.”

How was that for you?

Of all the many facets of fellatio, deep throat is probably the one that most women ask about. They ask how to do it properly, how to do it well, and how to do it in the first place. There are books, columns, articles, and DVDs that come pouring out of the wazoo, all claiming that they will teach you how.

Some of them will, too. You do this, you do that, you take a breath, you relax your jaw, you open your throat, you forget your gag reflex, you lie on your back with your head hanging down, and so forth.

Or you could just not worry about it, because the biggest trick is that there’s really no trick. In fact, you may even have done it already, without even being aware. Do you close your eyes when you’re giving head? Do you really get into it, taking him deep, and then deeper still just because it feels so good? Have you ever felt your nose bump on his tummy while you’re doing it?

Next time that happens, open your eyes.

If you answered yes, you can stop reading now. If you answered no...

We will assume for the sake of argument (and also because I’ve talked about these things before) that you do not suffer from TMJ, you don’t have a gag reflex that kicks in as soon as it sees a toothbrush, and that your mouth and your partner’s penis are ... how do we put this nicely... compatible. If you have to strain to fit him in, then some of those published techniques might be worth taking a look at. (I’ve included some links below). However, trying to put this nicely, if you are able to fit him in and still have room to get a little suction going, and if you're still able to move your tongue and not feel the strain, then you’re already halfway there.

Have you ever noticed how many women in porn can devour a cock like a strand of spaghetti? Ah, the wonders of trick photography. You start when he’s soft. Again, unless you're planning to gag on Godzilla, most guys offer a very sweet mouthful of warm, sleeping goodness when they’re flaccid. It won’t necessarily stay that way for long, but try it. Now, place a mirror right where you can see it. Move your head back just far enough that the root of his shaft looks like it’s held straight. Now, I challenge anyone to see that same scene and not marvel at your deep throating technique. See? All gone.

I warned you that he will quickly start growing harder as you do. What a great sensation that is, gently unfolding, silk turning to steel, with your mouth gently straining as the stick of spaghetti turns into a rather plump banana. If the mirror’s still handy, you will see more shaft now, as he straightens and strengthens. That itself is a weird feeling, as well, with your head being physically inched backwards from the inside. It's weird, but it's wonderful.

You push back. Your throat is already accustomed to the impression of something right on its edge from all that you have been doing already, suckling the softness, stretching for the semi. Clamp your lips and use the suction to pull him back into your mouth. Not all at once, though, and don’t go too fast. Just take a little bit at a time. If you feel yourself gagging or growing uncomfortable, stop. Rest. Let the reflex calm some, and then calm some more. Now start again. Baby steps.

You probably won’t succeed the first time. Or the second time. Or the third time. However, every time you try, a little more will fit. One day you'll realize that there’s no more to get; your nose in his belly, your chin on his balls... yes, a word about position. There are various ones that the manuals say are ideal for letting him slip right in, but I’ve always found that it’s best when he is the one who’s on his back. You just maneuver around in a crouch or kneeling, until you reach the place that feels right for you.

Then, when he’s in all the way... well, a lot of guys close their eyes during blowjobs; I guess it heightens the sensations or something. You need to attract his attention; a slap on the leg, or a poke in the leg. Whatever. Happy now? But yes, he’s in all the way and you’re holding him tight... now what?

Some guys will try to fuck your mouth, and that works when you’ve had a bit of practice. Or they’ll want to take a photograph. That’s up to you. Nine times out of ten, though, the only thing you can do when you’ve got him all the way in is... take him out again. Your mouth is too full to do much more than hold him, and that loses its appeal for both of you eventually. So you let him go, then maybe do it again, and again with practice you can keep that up for as long as you need to.

It’s usually going to be the other sensations and manipulations that get him off in the end, which - once past the visual, emotional and psychological thrill that a well-executed deep throat will serve up for you both - means its main function is simply so you can say that you’ve done it. It's like climbing a mountain; the only real reason is because the thing is there.

But boy, it’s fun, and he’ll thank you. Now, the next time you hear your cat throwing up a hairball... oh, let’s not go there, okay?