First, I’d like to share a little background information about myself. I’m a 24 year old girl. In just a few months, I will be marrying my partner of almost 4 years. In the time that we’ve been together, we’ve tried numerous sex toys from vibrators, dildos, and vibrating c-rings to floggers, butt plugs, and restraints. Many of these things I have enjoyed immensely. There’s just one small thing: I never use so much as an external vibrator by myself.
Having been active on a sex community, I know the number that masturbate frequently heavily outnumbers those who masturbate seldom or never. Despite those numbers, it’s not something to be ashamed of or uncomfortable about. It’s perfectly normal to have little or no interest in masturbation. Some people need it and some just don’t.
When I think about masturbation, I don’t have any sort of negative opinion on it. It works very well for some people. For me, it just doesn’t sound or feel all terribly too exciting. I like being with my fiancé. If I happen to actually have some alone time, I enjoy being able to write or exercise. I suppose on my list of current interests and daily obligations masturbation just doesn’t make the list.
Considering how only I know what I like and whatnot, the immediate thought to me saying “I don’t masturbate,” would most likely be “How do you know what you like?” Just from being with my partner and experimenting with different toys tells me what I like. I don’t like larger toys. I prefer clitoral stimulation over vaginal stimulation. It’s really no different from me picking out a bunch of toys and trying them out on my own.
A lack of masturbation does not mean I have a low sex drive. I do think about sex daily. When my fiancé and I find time, we have sex. When we don’t have the time, I just use that energy to fuel a good workout. Both sex and exercising seem, to me at least, to burn the same energy and leave me all sweaty and panting. They also both leave me satisfied and happy about myself
It also does not mean I have poor self-esteem and am not comfortable with myself. I’m perfectly fine being who I am. Sure, I get a little too stressed out every now and then and get cranky. I do have issues with my body, however I am working on them. I’m comfortable enough having sex, which, after considering it, puts me in a slightly vulnerable position: naked and kind of depending on someone else to take care of me.
My disinterest in masturbation does not come from my parents. I have no idea what they think about masturbation, nor do I really care. When I was a child, they didn’t really say anything to me about it. Now that I’m an adult, my mom does bring up the subject occasionally, though usually just as a joke when someone’s been in the bathroom for an unusual amount of time. My parents are heavily opinionated in other subjects, none of which formed my opinion on anything.
A lack of masturbation isn’t anything weird or anything to be ashamed of. It’s perfectly normal to prefer other activities over it. I find my sex life to be pretty fulfilling as it is. Despite my current lack of interest, there’s really no saying whether or not I will find myself wanting to masturbate sometime in the future.