You've had this happen to you, or done it yourself. A date is going very well, one thing leads to another and suddenly you're in the bedroom. One of you breaks away to turn on some music. You're both excited. And then some horrible sound starts to emanate from the speakers and one of you is repulsed. The mood is ruined because of your musical selection. Has it happened to you? If not, give it time, it probably will.
Music and sex go hand in hand it seems to me. Think about every sex scene you've seen in movies or in porn. Almost every single one has an accompanying soundtrack, from sultry and sexy to the awful canned music that is present in most porn. Have you noticed how a piece of really good music can change your view of a scene? It can help make an okay scene great or turn a hot scene into something you're laughing at because of the "bow chicka wow wow" soundtrack in the background.
I'll admit I probably spend more time thinking about music in relation to getting it on than most people. I was a DJ at my university's radio station and still try to keep up with current trends. When my wife and I are going to have a romantic night I'll usually make a playlist on my iPad or iPhone that I can hit at a moment's notice to help the mood. I've found that the right placement of music can really turn both of us on and take an ordinary night and change it into an extraordinary night.
But you have to be careful when you set up some music for an intimate evening. This is where getting to know your partner is especially important. Because if you don't know their musical tastes, what they like, don't like and what they find hot, then you run the risk of the scenario in the first paragraph occurring. I know because it's happened to me. You meet a girl, you're getting along great and then her musical tastes are totally different to yours.
So I think the key is to know the general types of music that people seem to prefer in the bedroom. I'll go through the different genres that I've found to be popular then you can figure out what music you prefer and find out from your date/significant other what they might prefer as well.
R&B: I think when most people think of music that is sexy and gets them in the mood you're thinking of some sultry R&B. Maybe Barry White and that incredible voice or any number of great R&B singers. Most of the time the lyrics are about falling in love, or making love or something of the sort. But I think one of the things that sets R&B apart when you're looking to get in the mood is the music behind the lyrics. The music within most of these tracks is not fast paced; it has a relaxed vibe and is almost subconsciously encouraging one to take their time and go slow. There is almost always a good bass line/beat to the song which can help set a relaxed rhythm for the evening if you want. There also aren't a lot of startling instrumental parts, a screeching guitar solo or a big drum fill. Most of the time if you put on some R&B you'll find the other person to be at least a little bit receptive.
Electronica: In almost every city there is that cool nightclub with the sexy vibe to it that everyone is flocking to. A lot of the time once you make it past the velvet ropes and swallow hard as you pay $13 for a martini you'll find that the music in the club is some sort of electronic music. It probably won't be super fast unless you're in the middle of the dance floor, but it will have a good beat, like in R&B, and a lot of times there will be few if any lyrics to the songs. It almost seems that it is music designed to be in the background, to help you enjoy the evening and not be the focus of the evening. The songs are sexy and help you relax usually, which is when you're at your sexiest. It is great in helping you keep the focus on your lover and not pressing fast forward on the playlist.
Rock and Roll: I am one of the biggest rock fans out there. If you look through my iTunes you'll see a ton of rock artists, and I listen to rock and roll all of the time, but not in the bedroom. Perhaps it's because I do listen to it all the time but it seems to distract me in the bedroom. A lot of rock songs are about love, but a lot are about other topics and the vocals in rock and roll are usually mixed heavier in comparison to the instruments and you almost have to notice what the singer is talking about. Add in guitar solos, drum fills and in no time the focus is off of your partner and onto what the next song is. Not good, and definitely not sexy. I'm not saying there aren't great rock songs to get down to ("Crush" by Dave Mathews Band and "All I Want Is You" by U2 immediately springs to mind) but be careful with what you choose here.
Classical: Some people love classical music in the bedroom. It won't really distract you or your lover because of the lack of lyrics and the soft mix overall, but it also may not ignite the fireworks you might be hoping for either. Classical music is fun to listen to, but can be a little stuffy and buttoned-up. Definitely not the vibe you want when you're getting it on.
There are lots of other genres out there so don't be offended if I left out your favorite. I think jazz is much like R&B and electronica, great for establishing a tempo and a cool vibe but still staying out of the way. You have traditional pop music with big elaborate love songs (think Celine Dion, shudder) that some people would love in the bedroom, and others like country and rap that have great songs but not necessarily great vibes for the bedroom.
There is so much great music out there, and so much of it perfect as the background for that wonderful evening. Don't forget about using music for a striptease with your lover; the choice of the right song can make or break a striptease for sure. And then when you hear that song in a different context sometime in the future you both can share that knowing smile of your special connection to that song. So take a few moments, find some songs that make you want to grab your lover and do dirty things to them and make a playlist. You'll be glad you did.