Conversely, not appreciating each other in or out of bed can lead to a lot of disappointment. This is also true about sperm. What men think, or at least would like to believe women like about their most precious yet freely given essence is embedded deep in our savage psyche. We secretly hope our partner craves and thirsts for our sperm as if it flowed from the spring of life, an irresistible and uniquely delicious elixir found only in us, offering youth, vitality, immortality (at least for one more generation) and even scant nutrition. It is the fluid of a little sticky connection that binds us. Women should orgasm just by watching us orgasm – or so we like to fantasize.
For men, a woman savoring his sperm means total acceptance. She is completely into him and wants every drop inside or on her. This ancient act of consuming some small part of your partner to make them somehow a permanent part of you feels incredibly tribal; an act of pure, instinctive sex. This tiny touch of ritualistic cannibalism can drive a man’s mind mad.
That is, at least, the fantasy. What women really think about the male ejaculate is too often a mystery, even to their partner. Putting on our Dr. Alfred Kinsey-like bow ties and whitest lab coats, we asked a random sampling of women what the male ejaculate meant to them, if anything. Was ejaculation simply a result of doing what was expected, pleasing their partner, or was there something else?
At first, we were curious about the amount of sperm. Did it matter? Men have a tendency to believe more is better. We like to imagine a large ejaculation (at least a tablespoon or more) is more manly, virile and satisfying, even to their partner. Was this so? Was there a correlation between volume and how much a woman was turned on? Not only did our condition-of-anonymity subjects answer that question, they elaborated, sometimes profusely:
Ling Ling, 39, commented “Ah, yes, the biz of jiz. I remember giving ‘The Talk’ to my wide-eyed, young daughter. I think the concept of a guy ejaculating, as opposed to the assumed peeing, in you is one of life's amazing oddities for the tender ears of pre-teens. That first cherry-poppin’ experience can be met with wonder.
“The flavors of cum that I have encountered are sweet, salty, and acidic, like lemons. I find one lover will pretty much always taste the same. The amount of cum doesn't move me, and I think it's quite similar among my past paramours,” she said, “However, the speed of the ejaculate, distance and arc of trajectory can sometimes be a big surprise. Some guys really do seem to go for the money shot—KA-POW!
“I do wonder about the random yellowish cum I've seen. Is it unhealthy? Is it due to medication? Did I just unknowingly ingest some meds when I swallowed? Is it primordial to suspect a problem by strange color and taste? If I send my food back at a restaurant will it return with ‘special sauce?’”
Putting those enigmatic questions out of her mind, Ling Ling added, “I always feel the little swimmers are disappointed when they are torpedoed into my ass. They're like WTF! I do love semen, though, for spawning the fruit of my womb. What a gift. But I find it most fun when I use it as war paint. Paper Mache anyone?”
Claire, 28, said, “The amount doesn't matter to me as much as what it tastes like. The taste of a man's cum is actually a good indicator of how healthy his eating is. If it's sour, that means he generally eats too much meat and possibly doesn't drink enough water. If it's slightly salty, that means his diet is well balanced and he’s probably pretty healthy.
“And just because a man is a vegetarian doesn't mean that it will automatically taste ‘good’ (these things are relative, of course). A man who eats a Mediterranean diet (with fish, beans, and lentils being the primary sources of protein) is the most likely candidate to have ‘clean’ tasting cum.
According to Susan, 34, “I think the most important thing about cum is the health and viscosity. I don't think there is any such thing as too much, but too little would suggest masturbating in excess, which wouldn’t be bad as long as the sex was great. Guys need to eat healthy, exercise regularly and learn how to please their lady! Then it is all good!”
“There was a time I didn't think much about it,” said Denise, 44, “just like cock size or tit size. But, I did have a boyfriend who didn't have pre-cum, which was like me not being wet during foreplay. When he came inside there was no explosion in the least and the part I missed most was not having his cum drip down my thigh. Sad to say, all the money in the world could not make up for the lust I was left with and so I had to let that one go. Blow jobs are easy; swallowing was like slammin’ a quick shot, but without the buzz.”
“I don't care about the amount,” commented Marian, 53, “however, upon climax from oral sex, I would be really bummed out if only a dribble came out, and equally weirded-out if the guy seemed to be having an ejaculatory hemorrhage. So, a few tablespoons is about okay. As a matter of fact, I believe I remember Martha Stewart saying the same thing.
“I can't really comment on color,” she added, “I have only seen milky white. Somewhere around there would seem normal. If it were vastly different, I would worry about his health and subsequently, mine.
“Taste, hell yes! If it were sour, I would tell him I am really into him and would love to do anything for him, but unfortunately I have a permanent and acute case of very contagious mouth herpes. Sweet helps overcome the gaggy viscosity.”
“Well,” began Roberta, 41, “it's been a while but smell, taste and normal color range matter to me. I wouldn't say I have a high attraction level to cum, but smell and taste can really be a turn-on. This really has a lot to do with the person mentally, emotionally and what they eat, although the chemistry between you trumps the rest.
“I'm a vegetarian and I have been with men who eat meat,” she added, “and am so turned on by being in their presence. It is not a turn-on or off if a man cums a lot; with the right man I could last hours in bed exploring. It is a turn-on for the man to cum and always loved when it happened together, especially after I have already cum myself a few times. However, even once together is welcome as long as enough time has been spent exploring one another!”
Said Kathleen, 32, “It doesn’t matter to me how much a man cums, but when he cums it’s always a turn-on. Cumming matters. I want my man to rise to a wonderful orgasm but the actual amount he cums does not mean anything.
‘Taste and color matter, of course. Medical research suggests the taste of the sperm depends on what the man ate the day before. Sometimes, the same man’s sperm tastes as something you can’t get enough of, and sometimes it may taste sour, which is a no-go. Yellowish color is also a turn-off.”
Some women had an enthusiastic response to our research. Stephanie effused, “I love it when a man cums—it turns me on the more he cums! Messy at times, but it means he enjoyed it just as much as I do! Taste and color don’t matter.”
Chimed in Brigitte, 26, “Humm, good question, easy answer—I like it when a man cums a lot; a full load is never overload. I feel that it translates to a man being fertile and the amount of testosterone level being pushed through his body during the time spent on a woman. It is like a subliminal message on how much the guy is into you at the time that you are doing the dirty deed.”
Sandra, 36, offered: “I could really give a rats ass one way or the other, it’s mostly important that I cum. Of course, when I'm in one of my raunchier moods, I prefer he cums gallons, and I prefer to swallow because I think it's a great waste to spit. I have also found that swallowing and showing off my lack-of-gag-reflex skills is in direct proportion to the size of the gift I receive on payday. So, basically, even when he thinks it's all about him, it's still really all about me.”