Are you open-minded? Are you that person who’s always excited to be trying the new thing that’s out there, or do you take a wait and see approach about most new things? There are positives and negatives about both styles of thinking, but I’m here to say that the more open-minded you are in the bedroom, the happier you’re going to be.
I like to think of myself as an open-minded guy. I try to be receptive about new ideas, new music, and give the benefit of the doubt to people who cross my path. Sure, there are things that I am a little cautious about. My wife thinks it’s funny that I am a little weirded out whenever a store we frequents does a remodel. In some aspects of my life I like the status quo to continue, but definitely not in the bedroom. In the bedroom I’m the one always bringing out new ideas and techniques, always eager to see what’s next.
It’s not that I’m dissatisfied with what’s happening between the sheets with my wife. I think we have an incredible sex life. We have a great sexual chemistry and it’s something that is there no matter what we are doing. My wife is by no means a prude in bed, but she is usually happy with what’s going on. Her thought process is usually “Why fix what isn’t broken?” And that is a very good point. When something is going well, why would one mess with that. But I also see other avenues that we can travel down that can help us experience even more pleasure, and who doesn’t want that?
I’ll put forth a couple of examples of me pushing the envelope so to speak. Many years ago I was the one who talked about introducing toys into our bedroom play. My wife was happy with what we had and kept demurring, until one night I got her so hot and bothered and she agreed that a toy might be a good idea. I got up, got dressed and drove in the middle of the night to one of the sex toy stores and came home with a rabbit-style vibrator. Cue some screaming orgasms from my wife, and then waking me up in the middle of the night wanting to use it again. Once she got into it, she began to love toys and we haven’t looked back since.
Another example is from earlier this year. Before I met my wife, I was active in the local BDSM community. When we got together she and I discussed it and she didn’t express any interest in experimenting with BDSM. So we let that pass and I didn’t bring it up for years. Then my wife read “50 Shades of Grey” and expressed an interest in BDSM again. We have had an incredible time opening up and gaining a new level of trust and intimacy from exploring with that over the past six months.
Finally something that happened very recently. After her initial reluctance my wife now loves toys. But she mostly liked vibrators or rabbit-style toys. She hasn’t shown any interest in dildos or glass or anything of that sort, until I ordered a glass toy from Eden Fantasys just to see how it went. It sat in our toy drawer for a few weeks before my wife agreed to give it a whirl. She wasn’t expecting much despite my enthusiasm and warned me not to get too excited. Then she had some incredible orgasms and now I’m searching for which glass toy to buy next. She and I were lying in bed the other night discussing the various aspects of some of the glass toys I was looking at and she said “I’m glad you’re obsessed with sex, it’s always good for me.”
Like I said earlier, my wife is not a prude in bed. She’s willing to try these things and is not embarrassed to say when she enjoys something. But if I weren’t so open-minded and adventuresome in bed we might not have discovered toys in bed, or gotten involved with BDSM or any other number of things I’ve brought up over the years.
And here’s a secret that not everyone will tell you when they are encouraging you to be open-minded. Not everything works for you. We’ve had several things that I’ve brought up and my wife agreed to that were not very much fun at all. Or it was so ridiculous that we wound up laughing at the compromising position we were in and agreed to never speak of it again. Not every idea you bring into the bedroom is going to work for you and your partner. No one has a perfect track record but I think that if you don’t try at all you’re going to miss out on a lot of fun in between the sheets. So I would say be open-minded in bed, give everything you want to a try. You’re going to love some things and not enjoy others. But you and your partner will do it together and more than likely it will help bring you closer together as well. Go for it, be open-minded. You’ll have some fun, I promise.