Our daily lives can affect our sexual lives. You may not see it immediately, but looking back at my life, I have realized that the incidents and adventures have shaped not only who I am, but what I enjoy. It took looking back through my journal one night to realize that my sex life has been forged by what I've experienced in my everyday life. I never noticed, and never thought about it until then.
When I was eighteen, I was arrested for something I didn’t do. I spent a night in jail, and ever since then, the mere thought of handcuffs freaks me out. The night my girlfriend asked if she could tie me up using the handcuffs my brother gave us as a gag gift for Christmas, I had one of the worst panic attacks in my life. I vaguely remember her getting them off me, and promising that we would never try handcuffs again. We recently figured out that while I can’t have handcuffs like the police use, we CAN use other cuff styles.
That same year, I was dating a man who liked to share me with his friends, and watch as they took me in ways that were so painful I cried. He enjoyed watching the look on my face as he took other girls in front of me. To this day, the thought of sleeping with anyone other than my girlfriend kills me.
A friend of mine recently revealed that one of his biggest turn-ons is the feel of a blade running across his skin. He said that he always has a fascination with blades of many sorts, and one day told his partner that he wanted to him to try running a blade up and down his body as part of their foreplay. Much to his delight, his partner was happy to oblige, and Regan ended up having one of the greatest nights in his life. He then proceeded to mention that I might enjoy it, as I also have a love for bladed weapons. I did it to my girlfriend one night getting wax off her back (The feel of the warm candles dripping down her skin makes her wetter than anything) and was surprised at the sounds escaping her lips.
I've always been an adrenaline junkie. I love adventure, and if it gets my blood pumping, I’ll try it twice: Once to see if I like it, and a second time just to make sure. So when my best friend (and amazing shopping partner) mentioned a club that she goes to from time to time, I jumped at the chance to try something new. Boy was it an adventure!
I'm not normally shy about sex, especially when it comes to trying new things, but this was a whole new world. Everywhere I looked, something was happening; a woman being flogged on a rack, a man giving another man oral sex, a woman riding a man on stage. There were some things that were happening that I had to ask her about, and ended up blushing as she went further into detail. By the time we got into the car to go home, my panties were soaked. I pounced on my girlfriend almost as soon as we got home.
You never really think about it until it’s pointed out to you, but if you look back at your life you'll find various incidents and moments that have changed what you like in bed, and maybe opened up a whole new world Of sexual adventures. It can be as simple as a conversation with a friend, or as dramatic as doing something with someone you thought you cared for and only wanted to please. Look back at the events in your life and think about it. Have you ever done something that caused you to fear and hate something in bed? Was there one passion you've always had, and suddenly you find yourself doing it, or something similar, with your partner? Whether or not you see it right away, it’s there. There is something that happened to make you who you are, and influence what you like and what you don’t.