"Let’s stay together for the kids". This is the most common thing I hear when people choose to not get a divorce. Is it really beneficial for anyone?
I remember growing up and my parents would argue all the time. I sometimes wondered if they even loved each other. As a child this is pretty painful to see. Now, I'm not saying that you should end a marriage over an argument, but sometimes when it gets unhealthy it’s time to let go.
When parents stay with their spouse in order to please the child it's not really helping kids out. Kids are not stupid and they can sense when you are not happy.
I personally believe I would have been happier if my parents weren't together. There was one morning I found my mother sobbing. I went over to her gave her a hug and asked her what was wrong. My father had had an affair. Now in most relationships that would have been a last straw but my mother did not want us to go through a nasty divorce.
It made no sense to me then and makes no sense now. What kind of message is that really sending to your children? That can make your kids think it is okay to cheat or be cheated on. I believe it teaches all the wrong things. Yes, I am sure kids will not always want their parents to separate but sometimes you need to put yourself first. If your marriage is not making you happy most likely your kids will feel it.
Teach your children to walk away from abusive relationships. Teach your kids to stand up for themselves.
Maybe you are unsure of what to do. If that is the case, maybe you should ask yourself if you would be okay with your kids growing up and being cheated on, or whatever you may be going through. Kids observe their parents and if you put up with abuse then most likely they are going to think it is okay. Most likely mom and dad are their role models.
Sometimes having divorced parents can be the best thing. Wouldn't every kid prefer seeing mom and dad happy instead of fighting and saying hurtful things? I know I sure wish that. Don't get me wrong I love my dad and he has been the best dad in the world but he is not a good husband. I also love my mom but I wish she would grow a back bone and stand up for herself. Having your husband openly flirt with women is not okay, but if you don't do anything about it you are encouraging his actions.
My message here is not to convince you to get a divorce but more to open your eyes and for you to observe if your relationship is healthy or a toxic relationship. Knowing when to call it quits can be the hardest decision you can make. I just don't believe kids should be the only reason to make a relationship work.