Am I the Only One?
Being a woman myself, I have a lot of female friends. When you put a bunch of us together, we usually get to talking and giggling, and inevitably the topic of sex comes up. At least around my friends it does.
Anyway, the other day we happened to be discussing oral sex. One of "the Girls" said how she hates the way her boyfriend always wants her to suck him off, and immediately the other four jumped in with agreement and complaints of their own. Then they all turned to stare at me, because I'd remained quiet. I expressed sympathy for their plights, but mixed with a dose of disbelief. She asked how I could like doing that and my response was this. How can you not like doing it? Cue the eye rolls.
In any case it got me thinking. How come guys in gay porn never look like they're enjoying having a cock in their mouth or half the girls in straight porn for that matter...not to mention the rest of the world? Now I've had my fair share of mishaps, but honest to God I like giving head almost as much as guys enjoy getting it. Come on people! Sucking dick is supposed to be fun! (Unless it's not supposed to be fun because you enjoy being forced to do it, but that's a different bag of chips altogether. More power to you.)
I've got five main complaints here, and I'm going to pull them apart, because I'm just that way, and because I'm a firm believer in sucking cock like it's the best thing in the world. I'm a helpful person like that.
"I don't know how."
Stick it in your mouth and suck! It's foolproof!
Pull your lips over your teeth, bring your mouth down slow, and suck him just like a piece of candy. Swirl your tongue around. Pull back until you've just got his head in your mouth and stroke his shaft while you use the underside of your tongue across the top. Lick him from balls to tip with the flat of your tongue. Slick your lips up and push him slowly between them like this is the first dick you've ever sucked and you're not sure if he'll fit in your mouth (note: that if this is true, just try to be sexy while doing it. Fake it until you make it, baby!)
Play around with different things, there are virtually hundreds of different combinations of hands and mouth. And honestly if all else fails just ask him what he likes! Show me the guy who won't respond when you're on your knees, naked, with his cock in your hand, and you whisper coyly "Now what should I do with this?"
"I hate it when he shoves my head down." Also see: "I have a bad gag reflex."
I have this problem, but there's a pretty simple solution. Wrap your hands around the base of his cock so you have a solid barrier stopping your mouth from going down too far. Then you can move more quickly and fluidly, in addition to putting the sensation of your hands into your blow job. Go big or go home right? Mouth and one hand on his cock, the other playing with his balls or grabbing his butt...but I digress. I've found that several partners like it if you add a little twist to your strokes, moving in tandem with your hand, or opposite just to add some variety.
I also feel compelled to add, this is something to talk to your man about. My previous partner, J, really liked face fucking, but I couldn't stand it. So we went a whole three weeks with no sex because I couldn't figure out how to approach the subject, and I was tired of him asking every time we got naked. In the end, though, I sat him down and admitted my problem, and what do you know, he didn't care! Our regularly scheduled sexy-time resumed, only with less gagging, and we were both happy. Most men will just be happy to have you on your knees.
"What if he comes in my mouth? Ew!"
I...can't help you if you find come to be gross.
Use flavored lube, or make him put a condom on beforehand. There's also letting him come on your tits, or working him into frenzy, then using your hand to finish him off so you don't have to have it in your mouth.
If you look it up on the internet, after you wade through the porn, there are a multitude of sites that claim to have "cures" for making semen taste better. I'm here to tell you, most of them are lying. I personally don't mind the taste, but in the name of science I had J test out three or four of them that I can remember, and none of them worked!
I can say that there is a nugget of truth in the theory, though. Anything you put into your body naturally comes out, through your pores and bodily secretions. It's icky, but true. So, putting that into practice, plan to make a night of it. Have your man eat healthy all that day, no alcohol besides maybe a glass of wine to set the mood, and if he smokes, maybe cut down on that for the day too if he can help it. Note that I'm not one to judge, this is just a friendly suggestion. All of this should help his semen to have a "cleaner" taste, at the very least.
"My jaw gets tired."
So take a break and use just your hands. Blow jobs don't have to be the same stiff-necked, up and down bobbing action the whole time. I've said it before, I'll say it again, mix it up!
Get that foreplay going! Kiss his lips, touch his skin, and nibble the sweet spot where his neck meets his shoulder. Work your way slowly down his body, and once you're on your knees take your time exploring his cock with your fingers. Men like to be touched. So with any luck, he should be pretty fired up before you even put your mouth on him. And remember, the closer he is, the less work you have to do! It sounds lazy, but it makes for a more enjoyable experience for the both of you.
Also, unless specifically requested, a blow job doesn't have to be the only thing you do. You can also use it to get him to the point where when he gets between your legs, he's going to pound you good. This is always a plus!
"I feel like it's degrading."
Under the wrong circumstances, anything can hurt, and if you look at sucking cock in that light, yes, it may seem degrading and even humiliating for some. I understand that there are women who can't bring themselves to pleasure their man this way for whatever personal reason, and I respect that.
However, if you look at it in positive light, personal experiences aside, it's a wonderful thing. It's a part of foreplay or something to surprise him for a holiday, birthday, or just because you feel like it. It can be quite helpful easing his tension if you are pregnant and can't get into a normal sexual position because of comfort issues, or if it's "that time of month". Above all, I see it as a way to show him how much you love him. Again, this is a personal opinion, and I know everyone is different, but the fact that I'm willing to get on my knees and submit like that is a sign of the trust and affection I hold towards my partner.
Whether it's a one night stand or a relationship, blow jobs can help, and they certainly can't hurt!