When your guy is wanking, he is practically giving himself a hand job. And he probably does it quite often, so by now he had learned really well what he likes and how. Also he has the advantage that he can actually feel what he is doing rather than just judge from the reaction – a luxury you won’t have. In other words, you can learn really well from his feedback, but your hand jobs will never have the ‘accuracy’ like the pleasure he can give himself. But it is ok – it is normal, if you don’t forget about it.
You will need to use techniques and tricks that only work for you. And there are plenty of those! But let’s start at the beginning.
Learning the moves - how does he like it?
First you need learn what he really likes. This is an important step: using the wrong speed or pressure can make him ejaculate too early or cause him to go soft. So ask him to show you! Most guys would love if you loved their dick, and it is unlikely they would refuse. You might want to watch from different sides as they wank.
What to note?
1. Speed – well, it is kind of obvious.
2. How low do they bring their hand while wanking?
This is an important question – if you pull the skin too far, it can cause it to become tight and stretched around the upper part of the penis, and it can be painful. So check out how low your man likes it.
3. How far up?
The head is the most sensitive area of the penis – everyone knows that. So pulling your hand too far up could bump into that sensitive ridge of the head, and if not done carefully, it can be painful. So take notes!
4. When to squeeze, when to let go
They like different pressure on different parts of their cocks – so check it you where they loosen the grip and they tighten it.
You can ask him to guide your hand. Feel for yourself how much pressure is too much, how far is too far, and just how his penis feels when he is getting softer or getting close to ejaculation. If you already know these things then congratulations, you have mastered the basics; you can go on to trying it yourself!
Before we start - choosing the position.
Choosing the position is very important – if you feel uncomfortable then the hand job will feel unnatural and forced as well. Are you right handed or a leftie? Take that into consideration when choosing. You do not have to stick to the usual next to each other position – you can take any pose that is comfortable for both of you. No one will stand there rating your every move, or writing down that you took a different position!
If you find it comfortable go ahead! If not, you could try some of these others:
1. Straddling his legs
This has several advantages, like giving a good access to his cock, a comfortable position and providing him with a good view of what you are doing. Remember, guys like a good visual! Drawbacks: You can’t freely access his balls.
2. Straddling one leg, asking him to pull the other one up
Advantages: You can see him well especially if he is sitting up, he can see you easily, and you can access the balls more easily.
Drawback: the angle of working on his penis is a bit unusual.
3. Straddling his chest
Advantages: if he pulls up his legs, you have free access to his balls; you can see his penis from mostly the same angle he does. Also he can reach you, hold onto your hips if he wishes, or stroke your butt.
Drawbacks: It is hard to judge his reactions, and he cannot see what you are doing. Also that could be turned into an advantage using the power of surprise, like when you use a blindfold.
4. Him straddling your tummy
Advantages: you can see each other. He can reach your tits, and see how you enjoy the work.
Drawbacks: limited access to balls, though you can tell him to rise up a bit.
5. Him sitting at the edge of the bed
If he sits close enough, his legs parted, it offers various angles to work from, letting his balls hang free easy to access. You can see each other well.
6. Him standing, looming over you
Advantages: You can access anything, any time!
Drawbacks: not so easy to keep eye contact. Also you want to make sure he does not fall during ejaculating – an intense orgasm can make the knees buckle.
Also, not only your hands, but your entire body can move. You do not necessarily need to stick to one position for the duration; you are free to change it. You can simply roll onto of him, or change to the other side if you wish.
Before we start - adding lube
Adding lube before getting to work is important – you are less likely to hurt him by accident if the skin isn’t tacky. You can use any lube, if he is not allergic to it: water or silicone based, or, your own saliva. You can ask him if he has a preference – but if you go with saliva you will need to reapply it from time to time. On the positive note, most guys find the view of that extremely hot! You can also combine water-based lube and saliva, whatever fits your man’s desires!
Make sure you don’t use too much though - removing friction entirely is not a good idea.
And now you can...
Grab his cock and wank it! Right?
Wrong! If you are reading this guide, most likely it’s not the violently urgent “I can’t stop even if I want” situation you have in mind. So don’t do it. Build up his tension, his anticipation!
One of the great powers we have over them and their cock and they do not, is teasing. Teasing only works if someone else is doing it, and it is a widely different experience from your everyday wanking. So how to go about the tease?
Start stroking his legs, getting closer and closer o the area he really wants you to reach – this will build up anticipation in him. Once you get there, apply a light touch – run a finger down his cock, tickle his balls gently. Make a few turns, and watch him getting erect if he isn’t already. Before you decide to touch the head of his cock ask him if it is ok, and never ever do it without having your hands lubed. The head is an extremely sensitive area, and in some cases touching it can be downright painful. If he does not like it, don’t do it. You can run your finger over the head if he likes it, and running them over the balls will certainly be a favorite. Make sure your movements aren’t too slow, and not too quick. Make your movements fluid, without bumps and jerks.
Then you can focus a bit on the more sensitive areas, like the skin ring right under the head of the penis, or the corona of the head. Focus on this area a bit, it is full of nerve endings, but not as sensitive as the head – teasing it can generate very different sensations than playing with the shaft. Form a ring around it with your fingers and twirl it around. He might find the feeling too intense – but don’t stop unless he says it hurts.
Now we are ready to stroke.
One tip: If your partner has a ‘bad day’ and has problems getting hard, you can try to use a cock ring, or a lube that contains cinnamon.
Using your mouth
Yes, it is a hand job, which means you won’t be licking and sucking his shaft – but your mouth is good for other things too! Like kissing him, if you can spare the attention, smiling up at him, licking your lips and teeth suggestively. It will drive him wild!
Also talk to him dirty. You need to learn what your guy loves to hear, be it “If you will be a good slave, I will let you suck my toes” or “would you prefer to cum on my tits or my butt?” You know best what makes your man’s eyes go wide with arousal and groan in pleasure.
Who said you can’t? You can do anything that keeps both of you happy! This includes any items he might have a fetish of – your panties, heels, stockings, putting on elbow length satin gloves – the list is endless. You just need to know what he likes best.
You can, of course use more than one item, but try not to overdo it. We are talking of a hand job, not item-job.
But other than the arousal effect, they can add new sensations to the play. Does he like stockings? Rub one over his cock. Does he like fishnet? Try to wear one as a glove to tease him, letting him feel the net on his skin. Does he like heels? Rub the underside of his cock a bit with the delicate strap-pattern of one. You can take the items, and than let them rest. You can go back to them, or not use them at all if you don’t want to.
If you have long hair you can introduce it to your games. Let it swipe over his penis and balls, tickling them, Wrap it around his shaft tightly (but not too tightly) than let it go and allow it to unfurl, it will cause a unique sensation.
You can try to introduce vibrators to the play if he isn’t against the idea. Some men feel badly about penis-shaped big vibes – it makes them feel inadequate. So a bullet of some non-penis shaped vibe would be a better choice. Teasing the underside of their shaft, the balls, the perineum (a spot under the balls many men love to play with). See if he likes it, and how he likes it best!
Pay attention to the balls
Yup, the balls! They are extremely important – and equally sensitive.
Whatever you do, make sure you do it extremely carefully and very gently – even a small bump against them from the wrong angle can end the session very fast. But if you do it well, he will literally melt in your hands.
His balls can feel differently depending on many things. They can sit lower or higher, feel heavier or lighter tighter or more relaxed. Being warm makes them more relaxed, and cold makes the crawl up.
So how to play with them?
1. Stroke the sacks very gently, teasingly. Trace the balls inside, run your finger over the area between the two. You can add hair to the play if you want, tickling them with it.
2. Grab them in your fingers (very lightly!) and give them a little tiny pull downwards.
3. Let them rest in your palms, and allow them to roll around left and right… you can hold them in your hand and tickle them with your thumb.
4. Roll them up the underside of the shaft very gently – he will go berserk over this one!
5. Put a finger on the perineum, and press it gently, or massage it. Simply keeping a finger there can enhance the experience for them.
You can add some anal fun to the hand job – but before you do so, make you your partner is okay with it! Also you might want to take some precautions to ensure everything would be neat and clean – getting a stinky surprise is quite a turn-off, and it makes your guy embarrassed too. Embarrassment isn’t good for preserving a hard on.
Check if your nails are nice and short and have no scratchy edges – you don’t want to hurt your partner.
If the way is green and free, you can start to play! Massage the ring of muscles, adding pressure to it, pressing down on both the perineum and the anus relaxes him faster. Penetrate him only if his ring has already relaxed, forcing even just a finger in can be an uncomfortable or even painful experience. Make sure you use enough lube.
Once your finger is in, you can either keep it there, or move it around. See what he likes better – gentle fucking motions? Rotations? Wriggling? Try to find his prostate if you can, and massage it. Before adding more fingers consult with him if he is ok with it.
You can also go for vibrating prostate massagers if you two are more daring and if he likes the sensations. It would make him more relaxed and free to enjoy it if he knew you did not find it shameful or perverted, but kinky or sexy.
You can play around with setting the vibrations on and off, and still leave both of your hands free to play with other bits.
use different techniques
While you are wanking him, you can use different techniques, vary the patterns, the speed, the hands… the combinations are endless.
But never forget what you started out with: the perfect rhythm you learned. Whether he is getting too close to ejaculation, or growing too soft, return to this simple jerking motion to balance things out. The longer you can build up his pleasure, the better his orgasm will be – up to a point, that is.
Keep things interesting for him, and hard to predict what you are going to do next. The fact he does not know what might happen makes it all the more exciting. This unknown is one of the other factors and powers we have and he does not – he knows exactly where his hand is heading and how he will pleasure himself next.
Remember though, don’t change too often. This is about getting him off, not about giving a report how many different wanking techniques you know. Let him enjoy one before returning to something different. Do not use more than 3-4 techniques in one session – keep the rest for the next time, because if you do a good job, he will definitely ask for more.
You can read about these various techniques in my next article.
Last but not least...
It might not be a technique, but it is extremely important. Make sure you enjoy what you are doing. If you don’t like it, the whole thing will be worthless. For a guy it is an extreme turn on to look down and see his partner enjoying playing with his cock. If he sees you are only doing it for him, but you do not like it, it will be an extreme turn-off. He will feel bad about being a “problem” and he will feel pressured to cum faster.
So smile at him! Let him know you love handling his joystick; tell him it is fun for you too.
When he comes, don’t make him ejaculate into a paper towel. Allow him to shoot it on your tits or stomach, or somewhere where both of you would be ok with – on your feet if he is fond of them. Never show disgust to his semen, even if you are new to the whole thing – curiosity is acceptable though.