The guard, Fernando Flores, has been working for Spears since February, and claims that Brit “made repeated unwanted sexual advances” and nearly fired him for not obtaining her Slurpee quickly enough. The drama is unfolding to the buzz of numerous celeb-watch websites, no doubt itching for more Britney breakdown action. Can’t we just leave Britney alone? She’ll apparently have enough to deal with in court.

In less sensationalist news, the new Google Instant was unveiled yesterday to the ooohs and aaaahs of an adoring techie populous—with one or two hitches. The newly calibrated search engine gives users real-time results and predicts user queries, but certain naughty searches are blocked, while other search predictions deliver less-than-sexy results.

According to Gawker, Google Instant insists that you’re not searching for “Erector Set,” but you’re actually searching for “Erectile Dysfunction,” while such terms as “boobs” and “penis” will be met by a blank page. A “vagina” search will be scrubbed out in lieu of “Vagisil” links. Apparently, Google didn’t get the memo that the Internet Is For Porn.

Another Google-blocked search item may include the results of a Turkish study that postulates that bigger men have better sex—and they’re not talking about that kind of girth. The report released by Erciyes University correlated Body Mass Index (BMI) to sexual endurance, and found that heavier men lasted an average of 7.3 minutes prior to orgasm, compared with their svelte counterparts, who averaged 103 seconds. (Yes, it takes longer to soft boil an egg.)

Granted, half of the men profiled were already being treated for sexual dysfunction, so the results have yet to be re-tested and re-examined, but we’re willing to bet the participants in this particular study won’t object to a bit more rigorous testing—in the name of science, of course.