Before getting into the story of what happened to the man who got a tattoo on his penis and ended up unwell there’s one thing men considering getting a penis tattoo should probably know. Your partner likes your penis because it’s your penis and it looks like a penis, not because it looks like a billboard or a puppet nose or anything other than what it is. It’s a lovely thing. Leave it the f alone.

Anyway, Katie Moisse at ABC News reports that a 21 year-old Iranian man got a penis tattoo and because the handheld needle probably penetrated too deeply he ended up with nonischemic priapism - a constant semi-erection due to blood being unable to exit the penis. Authors of a study on the case, from Kermanshah University of Medical Sciences in Iran, said the handheld needle likely caused an arteriovenous fistula.

“A fistula is a connection between two organs or vessels — in this case an artery and a vein — that normally don’t connect,” Moisse writes.

The unnamed man chose to have a shunt implanted to drain the excess blood but the surgery was unsuccessful.

He doesn’t regret the tattoo, either, which was “borrow be salaamat,” or “Good luck with your journeys,” and his girlfriend’s initial - M.

Yeah, that sounds like a lot of letters, but before you size queens go getting too excited just remember that some guy once wrote the Lord’s prayer on the head of a pin. You never know.