No, not that, silly man. We're not talking about your friend down there, whatever you want to call him. We're talking about the distance between your anus and the underside of your scrotum. According to a new study published in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives, if you've got less than two inches there, you're seven times more likely to have a low sperm count.

According to study author Shanna Swan of the University of Rochester Medical Center in New York, the discovery may lead to a new and relatively simple fertility screening test for men.

So this is good news, men! Take a deep breath. And please, try not to hurt yourself measuring your “anogenital distance” (AGD). Use a mirror. Ask a partner. Don't kill yourself trying to perform what seems like, to most of us, an anatomical impossibility. Share this information with us if you must, for the sake of science.