This month three ladies made Internet news by stuffing things inside themselves to conceal them from the police. We understand the desire to avoid arrest, but we're kind of under the impression there's a better way of doing it. Like, you know, not breaking the law.
In any case, first up, we've got Ann Marie Hernandez of Pompano Beach, Fla. Ann Marie decided to go small, and just cram someone else's driver's license and credit card in her vagina. Ew. We hope she washed them first. When she was apprehended, she told police about the cards and was charged with scheming to defraud, criminal use of personal identification, credit card fraud and grand theft.
Another Florida woman from Fort Myers apparently thinks she has vaginal walls of steel because she hid a knife in there. Gloria Esther Perez is facing a charge of carrying a concealed weapon.
And finally, in Delaware, Tiffany Giummo was riding around in a Durango with 47 bags of heroin tucked safely away. A Delaware County Sheriff's deputy was “advised of a blue Dodge Durango in route to Columbus to purchase heroin” so he tailed the car and eventually stopped it. Apparently the driver was a confidential informant for Huron County, but Giummo, the passenger, is facing felony drug possession charges.
Ladies, we can't say this enough. Please stop hiding things in your vagina. It doesn't work!