BDSM 101: What websites to join and which ones to avoid « Power Exchange

When it comes to the internet, you can find information about anything. When you first begin exploring BDSM, it's a good idea to learn from people that are experienced. If you don't feel comfortable checking out your local scene (or if you live someplace where there really isn't one), you can join a fetish website and do your research there. Unfortunately, there are some websites that seem to attract most of the bad apples, the people that are just there to get their rocks off and couldn't care less about helping you. Let's start with the websites you should avoid:

1. CollarMe.com
This is probably the single worst kink website out there. I would say that probably at least 7 out of every 10 people on there are fake. They don't want a real relationship. They are just trolling for easy prey. The only reason you should consider joining CollarMe is to laugh at the incredibly stupid messages that you will start receiving the moment you sign up. And while there are forums on CollarMe, they really are of no use because they aren't active at all, which just reinforces the fact that no one uses CollarMe for anything more than looking for wank fodder.

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You're going to feel like a submissive sex-god(dess) the second you put this on. – Princess-Kayla | https://www.edenfantasys.com/bondage-and-fetish/headgear/buckle-ball-gag| Ball gag]
2. Alt.com
Alt.com is just as bad as CollarMe, with one added negative: most features aren't available without a paid membership. So you get all of the fabulous benefits of CM (note the sarcasm) and you get charged for the pleasure as well. There are some good groups on Alt.com, but honestly I've never been able to find one that was good enough to deal with the bad parts of Alt.com so that I could participate in it. Just like CollarMe, Alt.com is set up to be mainly a dating site, which I believe is the reason why it attracts mostly weirdos. And because messages are one of the things that require a paid membership, you can't even use Alt.com as entertainment without paying for the pleasure.

Now that we've talked about the bad, let's focus on the good. Unfortunately, there's really only one good site out there, but on the plus side it's a really great one.

1. Fetlife
Fetlife is the holy grail of kink websites. It has groups on pretty much every topic you can imagine and if there isn't a group for it, you are free to create it. And because Fetlife is meant to be a social networking site, not a dating site, most of the people on there aren't creeps. Of course there are a few and you'll probably get an icky message or two, but it's very easy to block people and I think dealing with a couple bad messages is worth it because the good definitely outweighs the bad on Fetlife. Another good thing about Fetlife is that it is completely free. Because it is run completely on donations and advertising, there are currently 2 features (videos and the ability to "love" pictures, writings, etc) that are only available to people who support Fetlife, but I am not a supporter and the lack of those two features has not inhibited my ability to enjoy the website to the fullest.

BDSM 101: What websites to join and which ones to avoid

When you first find the world of BDSM, one of the things that you probably want to do is learn as much as you can. A good way to do that is join a fetish website so that you can connect with like-minded individuals. But like with everything else, there are both good and bad websites.