Fantasies are important to anyone’s sexual life. As someone who can only be described as having a very healthy imagination, I create all sorts of fantasies. I've thought about all manner of things, some things that I’m too ashamed to admit to anyone to others but that I would be happy to shout about from a rooftop.
But there’s always that fantasy that I go back to, and I’m sure you have one that you conjure up over and over. I actually have several that occupy a prominent position in my mind, but there is of course, one I think about constantly. For years it has remained just that, a fantasy. But over the past year I’ve begun to act it out, and I’ve found that reality can be just as good as fantasy.
In some of my past articles, I’ve talked about my proclivity for BDSM, and how my wife wasn’t interested as much. But over time I began to fantasize about dominating her, and not just in a general way, but in a very specific way that I never felt would come to pass. In my fantasy, she always wore a specific outfit (black corset, black stockings with garter belt, black high heels), I knew how I wanted her hair to be (in one long braid) even how I wanted her makeup to be (light base/foundation, a little bit of mascara and some red lipstick). I knew exactly how I wanted things to proceed (me entering the room with her on her knees with palms up), and what I would do to her, and in what order. I could almost feel the fantasy, because I’d played it out in my mind so many times. But I never thought it would come to pass, simply because my wife wasn’t into BDSM.
I have been drawn to BDSM for years and was active in the past, but had chosen not to practice it because it had made my wife uncomfortable when we were first together and married. As time has passed, my feelings have remained as strong as ever, and helped me build upon the fantasy, because of how much I enjoy acting and how I have always wanted to do this with my wife in a trusting and loving manner.
But then earlier this year, she began to express a desire to experiment in some ways. She was very guarded and specific in what she wanted to try, i.e. no spankings, no collars and other things. I was both excited and a little disappointed with this. I was excited because I was getting a chance to dominate her and we were connecting on a level that hadn’t occurred in years, but I was also disappointed because some of the things on her no-no list were things that played a role in my favorite fantasy, especially spanking/flogging and nipple play. We experimented and had some false starts along the way, before I thought we had found a bit of equilibrium.
I was still playing out my favorite fantasy in my mind, and it was nice because a few things within the fantasy were being played out, though not all. But then one night she asked me to bite down on her nipple. I was shocked to say the least, because it had been a heavy “no” in the past. I did and let’s just say things were explosive. After we calmed down, we had a discussion about why she wanted that. She’d been reading a lot of BDSM erotica and just felt the urge. In the same conversation, she asked for some spankings as well. Now I was truly floored.
I didn’t just jump in and start trying everything, though I certainly wanted to. I let her reflect on what we had talked about and asked her again if she wanted to try some of these things and she responded enthusiastically. I went ahead and ordered some nipple clamps and a riding crop, and prepared for the possibility of my ultimate fantasy coming to pass.
It did recently, when our toddler was off with his grandparents. We were out “shopping” (at least that's what I told my parents) but truly, my wife and I wanted complete privacy in case she was loud during this. I had never told her about my entire fantasy, only bits and pieces that I felt she was ready for. Before our session, I didn’t elaborate on the full details of the fantasy as I didn’t want to pressure her. Things began and went exactly as I had imagined them. I had never had a fantasy play out exactly as I had pictured it, but this one did. It was exhilarating, a rush, whatever superlative adjective you can think of, it was that and more for me.
Afterwards, we sat and did a breakdown of the session. I know, how sexy can a man be? But we always do this when trying something new, so that neither of us would feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable in anyway. During our discussion, I told my wife how this was a fantasy I had held for years, and how it had played out exactly as I had pictured it. I went on to talk about how often I had thought about it, and how incredible it was to have it come to pass. She had enjoyed the session immensely, and felt that it had satisfied things inside of her that she hadn’t even realized she needed. We both realized that this fantasy was something that was incredible for both of us.
It has been a few weeks since this first session occurred, and my wife has since asked for a replay. It is a little strange to have something that had been only in your mind come to life, but it is fantastic nonetheless. It is not something that plays out in my daily life, though my wife and I have a closer connection than I felt we've ever had before. It’s something that I never thought would actually occur, but am very glad that it did.