How My Husband Made Me Sexy!

My Husband helped me to see that I am pretty and sexy. It's been a long hard road and he has shown me love like I have never felt anywhere else. I met my husband when I was working as a waitress. He, and his friend, sat at the same table and would come in twice a day to eat. The other waitresses would fight over who got to serve them. At this point in my life, I was not looking for a date; so I didn't care. I didn't notice that every time I sat down he would ask for some little thing that would force me to get up and come to the table. He would never use it though! I was oblivious, and just going through the motions. One day he asked if I would go out with him. I was stunned. I had no words. My coworkers all said things like, “No way!”

You see, at this point in my life I really hated myself. I went through the motions of putting make up on and doing my hair, on rare occasions, mainly because I had just left a relationship that was really abusive. I barely got out of that nightmare. He started out nice in the beginning; then his personality changed, very quickly, when he started doing drugs. He hit me whenever he felt he needed to and he was verbally abusive calling me fat and ugly. I was left without money, a car or a phone. He had separated me from family and friends. I never saw it coming. Because my childhood had taught me that abuse was normal so with my family history, and this guy, I was ruined. My self-esteem was lower than low.
I was a real mess and this guy, I barely knew, kept asking me, “When are you going to let me take you out?" I kept telling him that he really did not want me or my problems. He said things like, "How do you know what I want?" He just never gave up!

I don't know when the first change happened. I found myself smiling when he came in and I even started looking forward to him walking in the door every day. So, I gave in. I told him that a bunch of us were going to the hotel bar to play pool after work if he wanted to go. He actually showed up and I nearly fell out of my chair! When we left I drove because he really didn't know the area well. We went to the casino to get a drink and just walk around. It got late. When we were driving back to the hotel, I will never forget this; he looked right into my eyes and asked if he could kiss me! I am not sure why, but I said "Yes." That kiss rocked me to my core. I had never felt anything like it, not even my first kiss made me feel like his kiss did!

I had never done anything like what I was about to do. When he asked me to come up to his room I said, “Yes”. I had no idea why I felt like I was drawn to him and like I had no control. This was a working man and his hands were rough, but when he touched me those rough hands felt like warm, living, silk. The way he worked my body that night; it was like he knew what I needed. He knew where to kiss my neck, my belly and even my clitoris. He knew how to use his assets to keep the orgasms coming one after another. For the first time, in my life, I just let go of my self control. I was hooked, but I was afraid that might have been a mistake. To save face I told him I had to work in the morning and left.

He showed up at the restaurant with a smile from ear to ear. Then he told me it was time for him to go home. You see he traveled for his job and was on the road for three weeks out of the month and home for one week. I knew I had made a big mistake. Trembling inside, I waited for him to tell me he was married and that he couldn't be with me. He shocked me to my very soul when he asked if I would mind if he came back and spent his week off with me! I nearly fell over; why would he want to do that? I shyly mumbled, "Okay". We have not been apart for going on 13 years!

He has told me everyday how beautiful I am. He tells me how sexy I am. He tells me that I am the best thing that ever happened to him. I don't think he realizes that at that point in my life; If I had not met him, I don't want to know what kind of relationship I would be in. I hated myself so much back then that I didn't care what happened to me. I felt that I deserved the bad things that happened to me; I had no sense of self worth. I still have days I don't really like what is looking back at me from the mirror, but he loves me for my faults, my mistakes and is willing to love me through anything, I think. I have learned how to be strong.

I have also been able to make changes to my sexual being. I am learning to love my body a little more each and every day. I can stand in front of a full length mirror, naked, and not run away. I can dress, and undress, in front of my husband, and not feel ashamed. I even wear lingerie and feel good doing it now. If it weren't for him I may have ended up in abusive relationships that would have fed on my insecurities and left me more repressed and in a horrible sexual prison, for the rest of my life. I was prepared, 13 years or so ago to not have any sex at all. I was also prepared to just be no more. When my husband found me he patiently taught me to love myself and open my heart to others again. I am so much happier than I have ever been thanks to my hubby. I owe him everything I am and everything I will be.