"I usually find several ways to express myself: different moods, different days, different voices, different things, 'I'm lighthearted today, I'm gonna do this.'"
So this got me wondering, what are the other mood killers that people deal with? I asked a few people close to me, and have come up with a list of mood killers.
One of the things I have found that is a huge mood killer is when your partner starts to compare themselves to your past partners. I know that I don’t want to think of my ex-partner when we are in the bedroom. They are an ex for a reason. That just totally turns me off just the mere mention of their name, or questions of what we used to do.
One of things I really hate is when you tell your partner something out of confidence and they run and tell their friends. I am not talking about girl talk, or locker room talk. I am talking about getting down into the details. I hate finding out someone knows something about me and feeling embarrassed to even look at that person. I think something that goes along the lines of that is when they share those personal pictures that you take for them. This has not happened to me but I know of people that it has. I would be so mad that I would never want you to be naked or sexy around you again. That is a huge break of trust there. I don’t know if I could forgive someone for that.
Another thing that I have found to be a huge mood killer is when you or your partner are just plain exhausted. How are you going to have fun in the bedroom if you have no energy? I would hate if one of you falls asleep in the middle of foreplay or sex due to exhaustion. You have to take care of yourself and not get over exhausted. Get plenty of rest.
Liven the mood up by changing what you do. I find that predictability is a huge mood killer. I hate to get into that same rut of doing it the same way all the time. Try new things. Explore with your partner and find out what you both like. Just get out of the norm; it gets boring when you know what is going to happen down to the last second.
The number one thing that I found to be a mood killer in our household is stress, and just plain being mad. My mom always told me that when you are married you should never go to bed mad. Now I know why. I know I am not in the mood when I am so mad. I don’t even want to talk to my husband let alone have sex. Now don’t get me wrong, when we have fought in the past, we have had great make up sex. But I don’t like taking it that far. I hate the silence that grows between us. It carries on to the next day if you go to be mad. Plus to me, what is make up sex really solving? It doesn’t solve the problem, it just gives you instant gratification. But I can tell you every once in a while you can’t beat make up sex.
I know there are a lot more mood killers and I have just touched on the tip. I just wanted to show that yes there are a lot, but a lot of them can be under our control. It just takes some work and a little fun!