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Why I Don’t Care About Gay Marriage (And Why You Shouldn’t Either)

Why I Don’t Care About Gay Marriage (And Why You Shouldn’t Either) http://www.forbes.com/pictures/eilj45kegg/same-sex-couples-wed-16/
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Gay marriage is a huge political issue now, with states overturning DOMA and the institution of gay marriage in several states in the last few years. Don't get me wrong--that's great. But we queers need to get our priorities straight.

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Comments

Nice article. I feel a little all over the place about the points you've made here, so if this is a little disjointed, I apologize. Personally, I think gay marriage IS a working class issue. The argument that you use that the queer community needs all these other things first is a little counter-intuitive to me. Some of the things that you point out as wrong (i.e. cismales raping lesbians) are things that are already addressed, albeit there are systemic issues with those systems as well (such as the hoops we have to jump through to prove sexual violence, which leads to under reporting because we'd rather not be victimized again by the system that's supposed to protect us or the healthcare system that profits from people's illness and that would allow anyone to go without adequate care). I just think it's really difficult to say that we shouldn't work on gay marriage until we work on the way people are raising their children. I don't see why this change shouldn't be concurrent.

On a practical note, if gay marriage were legal, companies could no longer decide whether they wanted their insurance benefits to cover same-sex partners, thus lowering the number of uninsured queer people. Obviously this still doesn't address every queer person, and again, I think healthcare reform is also necessary, because everyone should have access to healthcare.

I speak about these issues as someone who just has spent most of my life as a working class person. I know the issues I've had as a queer person from not being able to marry. Marriage is not a one size fits all solution, and if it's not something that speaks to you, that's totally fine. But marriage equality is not just an issue for queer people with money, it's something that's very important to a lot of us for many different reasons. It's not everything, but it is one piece of the equation toward a more equitable standard of living for all people. To quote someone I really admire, Audre Lorde, "There is no such thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not live single-issue lives." I really enjoyed your piece though, thanks for writing.

10/21/2012
Katdid  

I have friends that will be getting married to the same sex and they r happy and im happy for them!!!!

10/21/2012

Thanks for the critique and comments!

10/22/2012

Amen to this!

10/24/2012
Hubby80  

Amen! I totally agree

10/30/2012
ryse  

Great article.

12/09/2012

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