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Sex in Triplicate

Sex in Triplicate http://www.flickr.com/photos/serchswitch/2963949128/
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Threesomes can be a controversial subject among couples, despite it being a very common fantasy. It’s not hard to see why bringing another person in could cause some serious friction in a relationship; after all, the point of many modern pairings is avoiding cheating or temptation to cheat on a partner. But is jealousy the only reason that the idea of a threesome can rub a couple the wrong way? Could there be some sort of disparity between what SORT of threesome the partners are looking for?

  Just the Numbers

The poll on EF asked each responder to pick one option for adding a man to their sex life and adding a female to their sex life with their partner. Responses were in the form of "I am a _____ and I would be _____ with my partner proposing a threesome with us and _____"

11 straight women would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
6 straight women would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
8 straight women would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
13 straight women would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
7 straight women said it would depend on the man.
4 straight women said it would depend on the woman.

3 straight men would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
4 straight men would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
5 straight men would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
3 straight men would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
1 straight men said it would depend on the man.
0 straight men said it would depend on the woman.

4 bi women would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
0 bi women would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
4 bi women would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
0 bi women would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
1 bi women said it would depend on the man.
2 bi women said it would depend on the woman.

0 bi men would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
1 bi men would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
0 bi men would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
1 bi men would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
0 bi men said it would depend on the man.
0 bi men said it would depend on the woman.

2 people of other gender/sexuality would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
0 people of other gender/sexuality would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a man.
1 people of other gender/sexuality would be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
0 people of other gender/sexuality would NOT be okay with their partner proposing a threesome with them and a woman.
4 people of other gender/sexuality said it would depend on the man.
5 people of other gender/sexuality said it would depend on the woman.

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My boys were asked: "Would you be okay if a girl you were with proposed a threesome with another girl? What if she proposed one with a guy?" All six are straight males, and their responses will be compiled with the "straight male" answers from the poll.

5 (10) said they would be okay with a girl proposing a threesome with another girl.
1 (4) said they would NOT be okay with a girl proposing a threesome with another girl.
2 (5) said they would be okay with a girl proposing a threesome with another guy.
4 (8) said they would NOT be okay with a girl proposing a threesome with another guy.

  BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN

Unfortunately, I didn't receive responses from a single gay man or woman, so I'm going to have to exclude you all from this discussion for lack of data. Feel free to comment, though, and enlighten me! (Actually, everyone should comment!)

Straight ladies mostly seem to agree on one thing- they are overwhelmingly NOT okay with their partner proposing a threesome with another woman, and pretty cool with their partner proposing a threesome with another man. Fundamentally, this makes sense; you can't be jealous of a naked, delicious man around your own naked, delicious man, but you sure as hell would get jealous if your man's penis was potentially in another woman. However, if you move the numbers around a little, you find another story. The numbers for women that would be okay with either type of threesome are pretty close, and that shows to me that most women who are open to one type of threesome will also be open to the other. Overall, women seem to trend towards a desire for a male-male-female threesome.

It seemed to go the opposite way with straight men: combining the numbers from the poll and my bros, 10 men would be okay with a threesome with another woman and 8 would NOT be okay with a threesome with another man. This would most likely be the same reasoning as above: two sexy, naked women are better than one sexy naked woman, but not as many guys would be interested in watching another man use their woman.

Obviously these thoughts are not universal! There were 8 straight women and 5 straight men that went against the norm and jealousy to be open to threesomes with their own sex.

As for our bisexual folks, I am going to disregard the numbers for bisexual men in this case. Because only one bisexual man responded, it would not be fair to make any guesses about jealousy or openness to threesomes based on one person. Again, feel free to discuss/inform in the comments! Our bisexual ladies were equally open to threesomes with a man and a woman. Obviously sometimes it depends on the man or woman, but that's the case in almost all the categories. However, the "it depends" result had the biggest showing in the other gender/sexuality category.

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In essence:
There is no clear answer to my question. The friction caused by a threesome proposal could be because of jealousy; it could also be because men generally desire threesomes with women more than threesomes with men, while women desire threesomes with men over threesomes with women (at least for us heterosexual folks). These results do prove one thing: we're all very different. Straight and Bi, Men and Women, all vary in their ideas on threesomes and with whom they want to be involved.

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Comments

I'd prefer a MMF threesome over a FMF one. I'd be open to the latter, I'm just not generally attracted to women. So it'd be more of the V thing you describe.

12/20/2012

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