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Sex Toys: How Do You Introduce Them to a Partner?

Sex Toys: How Do You Introduce Them to a Partner? http://quaddles.deviantart.com/
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It can be difficult to introduce toys into a new relationship. What if your partner isn’t open to the idea? What if it freaks them out? Will you have to choose between them and toys?

  Anal Play

Life continued on with sex toys for quite a while, until I decided to try something new. Remember how I said he was not open to anal toys? He referred to his rear as “exit only.” I knew a lot of men found anal play very stimulating, so I decided to see what he would think about trying a small anal toy. I brought it up with him to see if he’d be interested. I didn’t want to push anything on him, but if I could open him up to trying it out once to see if he actually enjoyed it, it would be a new experience for us. He agreed and we purchased some vibrating anal toy.

That first time we tried it, he was a little nervous. He’d never put anything in his butt before. I could understand how he felt. I felt that way the first time I had sex (about my vagina, not my butt). We took it very slow. We decided it would be best for him to insert the toy since he knew what his limits were. Once he got the toy in all the way, I worked the controls on it. He whispered to me when he was ready to have it removed, since he was about to reach orgasm.

After that first time, we began experimenting with anal play more and more. We started buying larger toys for him to use. We tried anal plugs, prostate massagers, and just general vibrating anal toys. The more we tried the less nervous and more interested he became.

We now purchase and regularly use anal toys. He even lets me strap on toys to penetrate him. His opinion on anal toys has taken a 180 degree turn.

Introducing anal toys can be a bit trickier than other toys. Many people have very strong beliefs about anal play. It could come from parents, peers, society, or religion. There are also people who have previously tried anal play and found it unenjoyable or painful. You’ll need to fully discuss the idea with your partner. What scares them about it? Do they feel it is wrong?

If, after discussing, your partner agrees to try anal play, I strongly suggest starting out with your fingers first. I personally wear a pair of powder-free latex gloves when exploring my fiancé’s rear so that my nails do not scratch him or cause him any pain. If your partner finds it pleasurable for you to massage in or around their anus, try using a toy. You’ll want to find something with a flared base. Make sure to pick something small and made of a safe material like silicone. Also, make sure you use lots of water based lube.

If your partner still is firm on their refusal to try anal play, you’ll probably need to leave it alone for a while. They may have some issues to work out on their own. Constantly bringing the subject up will only make things worse. Your partner may eventually cave and say yes just to be left alone about it.

  Conclusion

Introducing sex toys to a partner, whether a new partner or someone you’ve been with a long time, can be a tricky process. The key is to really think about them. Figure out their wants and fears regarding toys and work with them. Forcing your opinion on them can do more harm than good.

Always make sure to start out with something small. There’s always time to work your way up to the toys with lots of different functions. Think about it this way: you have to walk before you can run.

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Comments

rtstits  

nice How to.info. my other 1/2 and I have been together working on 21 years he always want's anal but it was really uncomfortable for me.So I decided I wanted to try a small toy and see if just preparing me more would help. so in general conversation I asked him what he thought of using a anal toy he liked the idea and so I got a small plug then made a really big thing out of it by being clean we had a romantic dinner a little wine put in a very romantic & steamy movie. talking about the best sex ever. We just bought a new toy and I let him pick it. were new to toys but we just took our 21 year relationship to a hole new level..Luv those toys..

09/26/2012

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